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“So what do you think, Karla?” I asked. “About toxic teams, and what you can do about them?”
I am sure you remember Karla. She is the young lady who was having a difficult time in a toxic work environment, and two articles ago, had asked me three questions :
My friend Faizal had answered the first one in “Why Are Some Teams Toxic?”; and a world-famous executive coach, Barbara, had addressed the second question in “How Do We Prevent Toxic Teams?”. I had shared both these detailed responses with Karla.
Now it was time to answer the final question.
Karla seemed both thoughtful and downcast. She took her time answering.
“It seems, uncle, that based on what Faizal and Barbara said, that there is very little I can do to solve the problem,” she said, haltingly.
I had reached a similar conclusion, but still asked,
“What makes you say this, Karla?”
“Well, it seems evident from both narratives that toxicity can only be removed or cured by changing the leadership and/or the culture. I am too junior and too new in this company to be able to influence either.”
I told you she was smart.
“Much as I hate agreeing with any statement that does not lead to a solution,” I said, “I have to agree. Some workplace issues cannot be resolved by junior team members, and toxicity seems to be one such.”
“Having said that,” I continued, “this does not mean that you cannot survive in a toxic team or use your time in such a team to your advantage. There are some very important learnings that you can take away from a toxic team.”
“Like what, uncle?” asked Karla skeptically.
“As you grow and move to being a manager, and then a leader; as you move positions and roles and companies, you are going to come across such situations,” I said, “isn’t it worth learning the nuts and bolts of such teams, so that you can recognise and develop strategies that you can use in the future?”
Karla brightened visibly. “That sounds like a good idea,” she said, “how do I go about it?”
“Let’s start with identifying the different kinds of players in a toxic team,” I said, “by doing this, we can make sure that you will be able to recognise what and who you are dealing with.”
“A few weeks ago, I came across this write-up in a website called www.weekdone.com,” I said, “It described the five enemies of teamwork.”
These employees tend to promise more (much more) than they deliver. They may not even do it intentionally, but they do it regularly. Often, these big promises are made in public (in team meetings, for example), and then forgotten in private.
These employees believe that shared responsibility means “everybody else shares the responsibility”! They are very good at passing bucks, transferring monkeys from their shoulders to others’ and finding reasons why not.
Some employees will, when something is done, find a way to take the credit. They are also excellent in transferring the blame if something goes wrong. Such employees are quite willing to sacrifice their colleagues and their teams on any altar that is convenient.
Then, there are the employees who are experts in finding fault in every little thing. These people spend most of their time on criticizing instead of actually working and doing something useful.
And finally, there are employees who have no idea of the meaning of the world “team.” They are so completely self involved that they believe in the dictum, “my way or the highway”. They don’t like to listen to others’ ideas or recommendations, and even actively tear them down.
“And, each of these categories of employees can be handled or managed,” I concluded, looking at Karla for her reaction.
Karla sat forward excitedly.
“Wow, uncle, I can relate to each of these types of employees!” she exclaimed.
“You remember that I spoke to you about Rakesh? Well, he is the perfect Headline Hero! And then there is Soon Kim, my boss – he’s a real Lone Ranger! Also, there is a lady called Phyllis in one of our teams who complains all the time about everything!”
I laughed. “Been there, seen that,” I said. “That is the beauty of such smart categorization – they come easily to life!”
“But how do I deal with these different types of colleagues?” asked Karla.
“With the False Prophet, you need to add a buffer of time and effort to everything they tell you; this will keep you safe from disappointment.”
“With the Sleeping Partner, what I have found is to get them to lead projects – they will find the easiest and fastest way to complete them, so that they can go back to bed!”
“In case of the Headline Hero, document every interaction and ensure that others are copied. These employees will quickly realize that they cannot piggyback on your ideas, as everyone knows that these are yours.”
“If you persuade Weeping Willows to take on loads of routine tasks, they will not be happy, but will not have the time to criticize and complain!”
“And finally, with the Lone Ranger, just best to leave them alone. If they need you, they will approach you.”
“So, Karla, while not everyone can fix toxic teams, we can find ways to survive and even manage the situation to our advantage.” I said.
“As you well know, not all of us have the luxury of being able to leave our current jobs and seek another one,” I continued, “we have to make the best of the cards that we are dealt.”
“That is very true,” Karla said, with a faraway look in her eyes. “I am slowly realising that if I use the right tactics with each of my team members, I can influence the team to at least some extent…”
“Absolutely,” I said, “that is the right approach. Every colleague has a specific set of stimuli that they will respond to; it is upto you to discover the right buttons to push and when, and you will see some amazing and surprising outcomes!”
“Thank you so much, uncle,” said Karla, as she rose to leave, “I am going to give it my best shot. Thank you for listening to my problems and for helping me find answers.”
“I live to serve,” I quipped. “All the best, Karla!”
****
Have you encountered the Five Enemies of Teamwork?How did you deal with them? Are there more such Enemies? Do share your views and experiences…
Please send them to me, either as a comment or as a PM. Let us cure the persistent disease of toxicity in teams…
Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 30 June 2020.
Post Script :
#ceochronicles #careeradvice #careers #bestadvice #hiringandpromotion #personaldevelopment #success #leadership
I raised my hand (digitally, by hitting the little hand symbol).
“Yes, Shesh, please go ahead.” Barbara had just completed a closed-door webinar on Human Capital in a VUCA World. She was a legend among mentors and coaches and had helped many CEOs find themselves and turn their companies around.
I unmuted myself. “Thank you, Barbara, for the great talk. I have recently been asked a question by a young lady for which I am hoping to find an answer – How can we prevent toxic teams and how can we remove toxicity from teams?”
Barbara smiled. “She sounds like a smart young lady. That is a very apt question, indeed, especially in today’s world. Do all of you have time for a story?”
The 15 CXOs participating in the webinar chorused their yeses.
“Great,” Barbara continued, “I don’t need to say this, but all of us have encountered toxicity. Many of us have accepted it, even turned a blind eye. Some of us have tried to fix it, sometimes succeeding, often failing. I would not be surprised if, at some point during our careers, some of us have even contributed to a toxic culture.”
Watching my fellow participants on the screen, I could see their visible discomfort. Eyes that were previously fixed to their screens moved sideways and upwards. Buttocks shifted on ergonomic chairs.
“I know,” Barbara smiled, “These are uncomfortable words. But, hear it from me – toxic teams DO NOT happen without the leader’s consent or acceptance.” She looked at her screen, somewhere in New York City, her eyes probing ours. All of us studiously avoided her eyes.
Barbara sat back. “The year was 2012…” she started.
I was asked to be the Executive Coach to the new CEO of The Fortune Group. I was a little concerned. Normally, a CXO is offered coaching only after he or she has been in the role for a while. This was the first time I have been asked to coach a brand new CEO.
I had a meeting with the Chairman of the Group and he helped clear this concern.
“Well, Barbara,” he said, “you know that The Fortune Group has been facing some serious issues. One of the main contributors is the former CEO, and that is why we had to let him go. He has caused a lot of disruptions internally. The organization’s culture is toxic. Senior managers are constantly sniping at each other. There seems to be little or no accountability. Financial commitments are rarely kept. We get inventive excuses and explanations, rather than results!”
“I feel guilty to an extent that we are handing over a damaged company to Jacintha. I am worried that we are setting her up for failure. It is to ensure that she has the resources she needs, the support she needs, that I thought of you.”
I was surprised. This was both honest and thoughtful. Rare qualities in boardrooms, I assure you.
“Thank you, John, for sharing this,” I responded, “as I said, it would be my pleasure, and yes, I will meet Jacintha tomorrow.”
Jacintha Lee, soft spoken, kindly and charming, started her job the following week. She was a whirlwind. In the first 3 weeks, she had individual meetings with every senior manager; she visited Fortune’s 22 offices and plants; she had townhalls with various groups of employees. I noticed that she did not meet customers, nor the banks, nor did she speak to the press who were clamoring for interviews. In one of our calls, I brought this up.
“Well, Barbara, all my research indicates that our problems are internal, not external. I am going to understand these and fix them first, before I tackle anything else,” said Jacintha.
Fair enough, I thought.
On the first day of her second month in Fortune, Jacintha acted.
She called a meeting of the senior management team. (I was present as an observer). She spoke to 46 managers.
“In the last 30 days, I have spent time with all of you, and thank you for your honest inputs to everything I asked. I am grateful for your acceptance and support,” she started.
“This is hard for me to say,” Jacintha continued, “but we are in a mess. Our numbers are far beow where we can and should be, our customer satisfaction levels are way below expectations, our employees are unhappy and our quality standards are suspect.”
“I believe I know why, and I believe I know how we can correct this.”
One, we, the management team, are not aligned on who we are and what we want. We have no cohesion, and sadly, there seems to be a serious lack of trust between us.
Two, the organization lacks clarity. We don’t have a clear understanding of the fundamentals, we do not have a common vocabulary. Our values are not clear, our vision is opaque, we question ourselves at all levels.
Three, our Group’s communication and coordination is quite abysmal. Our subordinates, our vendors, our customers have no idea what we stand for, mainly because they see us, the management team, as inconsistent and undecided and often, at odds with one another.
And finally, four, our Human Capital systems are bereft of caring or consideration. I have seen government systems which are less bureaucratic, and more compassionate.”
“I am sure,” Jacintha continued, “that some of you may disagree with some of what I have said. Under normal circumstances, I would be happy to consult and discuss this with each of you. But not now.”
“Any organization is as strong as it’s culture,” she said. “Our culture is so dysfunctional that it is non-existent. We are going to fix this first.”
“As of today, I am rolling out a set of basic values that we will all adhere to from this moment in time. Together, we, as the senior management, will align and cohere. We will spend the next month imbibing and assimilating these values. If any of us needs help, please speak to Barbara (as she gestured to me), and she will be happy to listen, to guide and coach.”
Jacintha stepped forward, her face becoming even more serious. “Adherence to these values is not a choice. It is an obligation. Any of you who don’t or can’t live these values are free to find futures elsewhere.
While I had some inkling as to what was coming, I was left agape. The person who stood there in front of 46 senior veterans of the corporate world was not the nice, gentle, friendly woman I had got to know. This was an indomitable force, clad in designer clothes.
I looked around the room. It looked like everyone felt like I did. Wide eyes and partially open mouths abounded.
Jacintha took the meeting to its conclusion, after presenting the new ‘core values’ and explaining them in simple and clear terms. She asked if there were any questions, answered the few simple requests for clarifications and adjourned the meeting.
The next month was quite hectic, both for Jacintha and me. Together and separately, we met with almost all the senior managers. All through the discussions and explanations and even arguments, the message was clear – align or depart.
In the meantime, Jacintha had also hired two capable young people for her communications team. She spent a substantial amount of time preparing for the next stage – establishing organizational clarity across the Group.
On the last day of August, just before Labor Day, Jacintha launched her communication blitz. The communications team organized a group-wide townhall, across 12 countries and 22 offices.
Jacintha spoke about the ‘new’ culture and laid out The Fortune Group’s purpose, vision, values and strategy. She spoke about what Fortune stood for, its long term and medium term goals, its strengths and weaknesses, its competence and its competition.
When she finished, after a prolonged silence, I witnessed something I had only seen in political rallies before. The entire organization erupted in a standing ovation! It seemed that Jacintha had given the thousands of employees what they were hoping for – a clear vision, a focused approach, and a set of measurable goals to achieve.
I know you have other meetings and commitments, and I am not going to bore you with a blow-by-blow commentary. A few milestones –
In the next 3 months, Jacintha replaced 6 members of her senior management team – those who could not or did not conform to the new culture. Concomitantly, quite a few other managers who had gotten used to or taken advantage of the previous regime were encouraged to find other avenues. She and other senior managers spent a substantial time on the road, spreading and reinforcing the word.
In the second month, the organization woke up one Monday to the shocking news that Jacintha has suspended two of her senior most lieutenants for ‘non-compliance’ with the new culture. Both the gentlemen spent a week at home (and some time with me), and resumed their duties,smarter and wiser.
She reorganized the team, tore up all the redundant chapters of the policy manuals, and created a truly employee-centric, transparent, caring system. In November, The Fortune Group launched the new system in another group-wide townhall. I witnessed my second corporate standing ovation.
In November, five months after we began, I attended my second Management Review meeting. The difference was startling! The senior managers were engaged, aligned and clearly working together. The quality of information being presented was top notch. And most importantly, ALL the trends were pointing steadfastly in the right direction.
In December, at Jacintha’s request, I chose 30 employees at random, and had one-to-one meetings with them, to understand whether Jacintha’s initiatives had spread across the organization and taken root. As I compiled my report, I felt amazed and uplifted that so much could have changed in so little time…
So, Shesh, to answer your question, “How can we prevent toxic teams and how can we remove toxicity from teams?”
We need –
Of these, the first two are the most critical. Leadership and Culture are interdependent and feed off one another. The lack of one leads to the failure of the other.
Everything else follows, though not by default, but by design.
Thank you, everyone, for your attention, and for a wonderful session! Have a great week ahead!
****
What do you think of Barbara’s narrative? Do you agree with her solution? Do share your views and experiences…
Please send them to me, either as a comment or as a PM. Let us cure this persistent disease…
Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 16 June 2020.
Post Script :
#ceochronicles #careeradvice #careers #bestadvice #hiringandpromotion #personaldevelopment #success #leadership culture
“In response to the question on why some teams are so toxic, may I tell you a story?” asked Faizal, as he settled back into the sofa with a dew-dotted glass in his hand.
Faizal’s words were in response to my describing my meeting with Karla and her descriptions of the toxic behaviours of her team. I had just posed the three questions Karla had asked me at the end of our meeting :
“Of course, Faizal!” said Chow Yen, “I am a sucker for stories! Go for it!” He, too, held a glass with golden yellow liquid that sparkled in the mood lighting in the lounge.
“Me too!” said Anders, “I have often given this question thought, and would really like to hear your reasons for a team becoming or being toxic.” Anders held a plate of tuna sandwiches that he was demolishing rapidly.
(If you are new to the CEO Chronciles, a quick catch up : The Gang Of Four was the informal group of four friends – Anders, Chow Yen, Faizal and I – which met once every 5-6 weeks to catch up, and more importantly, to discuss issues and problems each of us was facing and to find approaches and solutions together. Today, we were in the bar lounge in St. Regis).
“Great,”said Faizal. “It was 2008 and I had just taken over as CEO of ABC Limited…”
ABC Limited was an established privately held Group headquartered in Singapore. It was established in 1985, and had steadily grown into a transnational company.
ABC Singapore, in addition to the corporate office, had two business units (BUs), one focusing on engineering products and the other delivering diverse maintenance and repair services.
After I settled down, (said Faizal) I noticed that the two teams were very different. They were each on a separate floor, below the corporate office. The product BU floor had a subdued air to it. The services BU, on the other hand, seemed full of laughter and light.
Financially, both BUs were performing similarly, with similar toplines and acceptable margins. However, on closer analysis, the product BU numbers seemed to have a gradual downward trend, and the services BU was clearly moving upwards.
Operationally, I noticed that the product BU had a high attrition rate. The BU had separated from 18 people in the last year, out of a total of 42.
My antennae tingled and I decided to learn more. I started with talking to my Group CFO, Sheetal.
The discussion was not comfortable. Sheetal hemmed and hawed and spoke in generic phrases, which was very unlike her normally frank approach.
I then spoke to our Group COO, Geoff. He, too, seemed to dance around the questions I asked, not committing to anything.
I had had enough. I invited Sheetal and Geoff out for a drink that evening, and once we were settled, I looked at them seriously.
“Guys,” I said, “quit fooling around. I want you to tell me what is going on with the product BU. No hedging and feinting, please!”
Sheetal and Geoff looked at each other. They had been working together for the past 4 years, and knew each other well. Some kind of signal passed between the two, and Geoff leaned forward.
“Well, Faizal,” he started, “Morton was hired by your predecessor about two and a half years ago. I believe that both of them, ahh, hmm, share a nationality? And have been friends for some time. Do you get me?”
“Am beginning to,” I said, the light slowly dawning, “please go on.”
“Um, well,” Geoff was clearly uncomfortable, “so Morton was brought in as the General Manager of the product BU without much involvement by any of us. He was like, what you say, a special case?”
“Okay,” I said, “I get where you are going. And then?”
Sheetal took over. “Morton is, uh, different,” she said, “he comes from a different industry, and thinks and behaves differently…”
I sat up as straight as I could in the soft lounge settee.
“Sheetal, Geoff, much as I respect your reticence and sensitivity,” I said, firmly, “if we have a problem with one of our teams, I need to know it, and the sooner the better. If you keep throwing euphemisms at me, how am I expected to analyse the issues involved?
Finally, the floodgates opened. I listened and listened and took notes.
And I understood the problem.
The next morning, I called the Chief HR Officer to my room.
“Anna,” I asked, “May I see the exit interviews for these ex-employees?” I gave her the list of the 18 people who had left Geoff’s team in the previous 12 months.
Anna glanced at the list. “Why do you need…?” she began, and then she recognised the names. “Oh…” She looked at me for a few moments, poised to say something. Then she rose to leave. “You will have it in an hour, Faizal,” she said.
I spent the afternoon reading 18 documents that confirmed the understanding that had dawned on me the previous evening.
The words, “self-involved”, ‘apathetic”, “selfish”, “untrustworthy”, “incapable” and “incompetent” were repeated too many times to have been missed.
My opinion of my predecessor dropped more than a bit.
The exit interview minutes described a leader who had no right to that title; a boss in name only, with little interest in anything other than self-interest; a manager who abdicated his duties; a teammate who had long forsaken his team; a professional who blamed his incompetence on his subordinates.
At about 5:00 PM, I asked Anna to see me again. She did, but her feet dragged as she walked into my room.
“You know about this,” I said. It was not a question, really.
“Yes,” Anna answered. She couldn’t meet my eyes.
“You are the head of HR,” I said, trying to maintain a neutral tone. “It is your responsibility to…”
I stopped. Anna was working hard to control herself.
“I tried!” she said. “Every time, I shared the feedback with the CEO. Each time, I recommended that we needed to act on this! But…” she realised that she was raising her voice, and paused.
When Anna had recovered a little, she continued. “Every time, Faizal, every time I was told that the matter has been ‘noted’ and that appropriate counselling will be given. That I don’t need to worry. That I should leave it with the CEO.”
“And?” I asked gently.
“And nothing,” Anna said, frustrated. “Good people kept leaving, and we took no action. Other teams complained, and we took no action. It was almost as if Morton was being protected…”
“It’s not your fault, Anna,” I said, as comfortingly as I could. “You did your best.”
Anna looked at me, her expression a mix of sadness and disappointment.
“No, I did not do my best,” she said, “That is why I am feeling so terrible.”
Before I left that day, I called Sarang, the General Manager of the Services BU, and asked him to drop in for a chat.
I sped through the pleasantries.
“Sarang,” I said, “let me get to the point of this meeting. You have been in this company for more than 7 years. You are a smart, capable manager and leader. There is no question but that you know about the problems in the Product BU?”
“Yes, Faizal,” Sarang answered, without hesitation, “I know.”
“What did you do about it, if anything?”
“Me? Nothing,” said Sarang. “I don’t have anything to do with that BU.”
“I hear you, Sarang,” I said, “the question is why. You are part of this company’s senior management. If you have been seeing a dysfunctional team for nearly 4 years, you should have intervened.”
“Honestly, Faizal,” said Sarang, “I am focused on my BU. That is what I am paid for. My team is doing well, and I have achieved all my targets. I don’t see why I should interfere or intervene in another BU’s issues.”
“Oh,” I said, “fair enough. Have you heard of a poet named John Donne?”
Sarang’s brow creased. “No, sorry, never hear of him.”
“Thanks, Sarang,” I said, “Just check John Donne out on the internet, will you? He has written a wonderful poem on islands and continents…”
Faizal leaned back, and took a deep gulp of his drink, and sat back, smiling at us.
Chow Yen sat forward. “Okay, Faizal, great story, but don’t keep us in suspense any longer! So, what are the main causes for some teams to be so toxic?”
Faizal grinned. “Oh, I thought you would have got that from the article’s sub-titles,” he remarked. “Let me sum it up for you. Teams are or become toxic if,
“I am not saying these are the only causes or symptoms. But these are the big ones, I believe.”
Anders lifted his glass. “Excellent Faizal, a well woven story! Thank you!
I raised my glass, too. “Great narrative, Faizal, you had us on the edges of our seats. One question before we disperse – what did you do next?”
Faizal cocked his eyebrow. “Isn’t that Karla’s next question, Shesh – ‘How can toxicity be removed from a team’? Shouldn’t that be addressed in the next article?
****
Faizal has shared four causes of toxic teams. There are many more causes – can you share any that you have come across? Either in your own company or a situation that you have encountered?
Please send them to me, either as a comment or as a PM. Let us work to find a solution to this unfortunately common problem.
Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 02 June 2020.
Post Script :
#ceochronicles #careeradvice #careers #bestadvice #hiringandpromotion #personaldevelopment #success #leadership
“I want to quit! I can’t take this toxic crap any more!” said Karla, her face writ with frustration and anger.
I leaned forward. It was very unlike Karla to lose her cool like this.
“These are strong words,” I said. “You have been in this company for less than a year, haven’t you?”
“Yes, about 8 months,” she said, her brow knitted into a frown. “And it has been a horrible 8 months! I wish I had never joined this company!”
That caused me to pause. Karla was employed in a reputed Fortune 500 MNC. If I was not wrong, I had recently read about how they had scored very well in employee ratings.
“Would you like to discuss this?” I asked gently, “Or are the wounds too fresh?”
“Well, uncle, that is why I am here,” said Karla, “I was speaking to Dad, and he asked me to consult you. Though I don’t know how this will help. I just want to walk away from this mess!”
No, Karla is not my niece; she is the daughter of one of my close friends, and calls me uncle. And she is normally not as emotional as the above dialogue sounds. Something is really bothering her.
“So what happened?” I asked.
“My team is truly toxic, that’s what!” she burst out. “And I don’t even feel like going to office anymore.”
“What do you mean by ‘toxic’”? I asked, even though I knew well what she meant, having experienced my share of toxicity through my career. “Would you be able to share any specific issues or examples?”
“Of course I can,” said Karla, “let me share recent three instances with you…”
“About three months ago,” Karla started, “I was supposed to complete a ‘preferred client analysis’ – analysing a list of our most important regional customers, developing patterns of their purchases, establishing trends, and evaluating the relationship strengths.”
“Okay,” I nodded.
“I had just joined the company a few months before. I did not know all the customers well. Yes, I did get a lot of the quantitative information from our database, but as you know uncle, quantitative data only shows part of the picture. I needed to understand them qualitatively, too.”
“Absolutely. No question.” I agreed.
“So, I approached one of my senior team members, Rakesh,” she continued, “and asked him whether he could help me with a more nuanced understanding of a few of the customers on the list. Rakesh seemed a nice guy, and I thought he is the best person to go to, as he had been with the team for more than 4 years.”
“Rakesh asked me to send him an e-mail and said he would surely help,” Karla said, “and I did. With some follow up, he responded and gave me some insights. He did this all on e-mail even though we could have done this in an hour’s meeting. Even though I wondered why, I did not give it much thought – I was just glad that I was getting the information I needed.”
“I assume there is a twist in the tale coming up?” I queried gently.
“Oh yes!” Karla laughed, more cynically than a 28 year old should ever laugh. “I submitted the completed project to our boss, Soon Kim, and hoped that I had lived up to expectations. Two days later, we had a team meeting. One of the items on the agenda was to discuss the client analysis. When the time came, instead of turning to me, he asked Rakesh to give everyone an overview of the analysis.”
I knew where this was going, so I kept silent and nodded.
“I was taken aback,” Karla said, her eyes looking into the past, “and Rakesh presented the project as if he had done the whole thing himself. At the end of it, Soon Kim thanked and congratulated him, and the meeting continued.”
“That afternoon, I went to Soon Kim’s cabin, and asked him why Rakesh presented the analysis, when it was my project. He seemed puzzled. But, he said, Rakesh told me that you had approached him and asked him to lead the project. He also showed me some e-mails between you two.”
“I did not know whether to cry or scream,” said Karla, gritting her teeth at the memory. “I explained the situation to Soon Kim, about the need for a few insights, which added up to less than 20% of the project. He seemed to listen, but I don’t believe his heart was in it. He seemed very eager to get on with some other work. I left his cabin completely demoralised.”
“What did you do next?” I asked.
“Well, that evening, I hitched a ride with Sonja,” she said, “and I told her what happened. Sonja was not surprised at all. This happens all the time in our team, she said. Most of the team members are out to prove themselves and grab credit. Rakesh is known for hijacking projects and achievements, and has done this to many other team members. Next time, Sonja said, be careful, we are part of a very toxic team. She seemed very accepting of the whole situation, whereas for me, it was a complete shock.”
“You must have felt betrayed and let down,” I said, sympathetically.
“Oh, uncle, you have no idea!” Karla said feelingly, “I felt worse than Julius Caesar after Brutus stabbed him!”
“Yes, I understand, Karla,” I said. I, too, had felt the pain of a knife in my back a few times.
“The second instance happened about 6 weeks ago,” said Karla, “and thank God, it did not happen to me!”
“One of our team mates, Norman, is new to this business. He has about 12 years work experience, but in other fields. So he finds some of the stuff we are doing a little new and strange.”
“Yes,” I said, “Been there, done that.”
“He’s been with us for a little longer than I have,” she said, “maybe about a year?”
“So, one Monday morning, Norman is trying to export a client address list into a new data base that we are collating. This was actually Wilma’s project, and Norman was helping her. So far, I understand that he was doing a good job, though I was not directly involved.”
“That afternoon,” she continued, “there was a big hullabaloo! Lots of running and shouting and huddles! I was stuck in a dealer event so did not witness this, but was getting minute-by-minute update messages from Sonja and Janak!
“What happened?” I asked, my curiosity aroused.
“It seems that Norman had, by mistake, shared the client data with a wider group,” said Karla, smiling, but with a tinge of sadness. “He realised it as soon as he did it, and immediately notified Wilma and Soon Kim. According to Sonja, both of them hit the roof, and there was a huge fuss, which steadily escalated till it reached the VP.”
“Wow,” I said, unsurprised, “the VP?”
“Yes, it seems that Wilma publicly blamed Norman, who, poor guy, could nothing but accept it; then Soon Kim dressed him down in front of everyone. After that, someone brought in the VP, and it seems he had his share to say to Norman, while Wilma and Soon Kim stood watching.”
“Poor Norman,” I said.
“Absolutely. He is a nice guy, works hard, doesn’t normally screw up,” said Karla, “but the way these guys went at him, it sounded like he has given away all our company secrets to the KGB and the CIA. Even till today, some of our team members refer to Norman’s mistake as “Wikileaks”, and just two days ago, Soon Kim referred to the incident and not in a very nice way.”
“It seems like your team prefers to fix the blame, rather than the problem.” I observed, recognising another mark of a truly toxic team.
“You’re spot on, uncle,” said Karla. “Not one of the team stood by Norman or supported him. He went though a terrible time, with everyone sniggering and pointing fingers…”
“But yesterday was the last straw,” said Karla, sitting straight, the memory of the incident still raw in her throat, “and I cannot take this anymore.”
“What happened, my dear?” I asked, gently.
“We had a Teams online meeting yesterday morning,” she said, holding back the moisture in her eyes from trickling, “all 14 members of our team were on it. Some of us were in the office, and others were working remotely. The meeting went on for almost two hours and some parts of it were quite boring and repetitive.”
“Yes, I have attended such meetings,” I remarked, dryly.
“After the meeting, I started putting together the minutes and the action plan. And, while doing so, I went into the Chats section, to see if there were any points there that I needed to take note of…” Karla stumbled.
I waited for a few moments, for her to recover herself.
Karla cleared her throat. “I am sorry, uncle,” she said, glancing at me.
“It’s okay. Do you need a glass of water? Your throat must be parched,” I said.
“No, no, it’s okay. So, in the Chats section, I saw a conversation between three of my team members. I think they were writing to one another believing it to be a private Chat, but for some reason, they were using the meeting Chat.”
“They had said such horrible, toxic things about me,” her voice broke, ever so slightly. “About how I dress, and how I am the boss’ favourite because I am pretty, and how I did not deserve the role I was in and had got it only because of some ‘connections’. About how I was always asking questions and was always delaying projects…”
Her eyes spilled over. She turned away, scrabbling for a tissue in her purse.
I got up and went to the sideboard, where I poured a glass of water for her and one for myself.
After about 3 minutes, I came back and offered the water to Karla. She took it and smiled her thanks. Both of us sipped on our water, and let the moment pass.
“Thank you for sharing this with me,” I said, “It is not easy, reliving such moments. It is really sad when one encounters a dysfunctional, toxic team.”
“I don’t know whom to talk to, uncle,” said Karla, “I can’t trust anyone in my team or in the office. I spoke to Dad, but he’s a GP and has always run his own private practice, so does not know how to advise me…”
“And he’s a sweetheart who wouldn’t recognise toxic stuff if it punched him in the face,” I said, smiling.
“That’s true,” Karla giggled, “He’s a big teddy bear!”
“So, uncle, I have a question,” asked Karla, serious once again,”Why are some teams so toxic? How can toxicity be removed from a team? And, what should I do in this situation?
“Well,” I said, “these are three questions. Which have very different answers. And, it is rather late now. May I respond to these in the next article?”
****
Like Karla, many of you may have similar and more questions, particular to your situation.
Please send them to me, either as a comment or as a PM. Let us, together, work to find solutions to this unfortunately widespread problem.
Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 19 May 2020.
Post Script :
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