Enter your info below to begin.
To challenge time and win, we need to master Three Principles.
“I am sorry, my dear, Daddy cannot come and watch you submit your homework online, Daddy is very busy with video calls…
“My apologies for the delay in submitting the report, sir; I had too much on my plate and just could not find the time…”
“Sorry, darling, we will need to cancel our vacation this year. I am snowed under, I don’t even have the time to breathe…”
How often have we said or heard similar words! At so many junctures in life, we have felt that time is our enemy, preventing us from achieving our diverse goals. How often have we felt that time is like fine sand – and the more we try to hold on to it, the more it slips away…
Time is our only truly finite resource: we may gain any amount of wealth, or success, or employees, or friends – but each of us gets 24 hours in a day, and a single lifetime’s worth of time. Because time seems limited, it is natural to feel that time is an enemy out to get us.
But this isn’t true. Time fails us because we fail in our approach to time.
We need to change our approach and learn the Three Principles that will allow us to challenge time and win.
A few years ago, my mentor changed my whole attitude about time with one simple exercise.
He wrote, “I want to go to the beach but I have to work,” on the blackboard, illustrating a classic time squeeze conundrum.
“Is this true?” he asked me. “Let’s explore.”
Below “I want to go to the beach” he wrote: “I don’t want to go to the beach.”
And below “I have to work” he wrote: “I don’t have to work.”
“Now let’s remove the lies,” he said. “Is it true that I don’t want to go the beach? No.” And he crossed out I don’t want to go to the beach.
“Is it true that I don’t have to work? No.” And he crossed out I don’t have to work.
“There’s one more lie,” he said. “The third lie is ‘but.'”
He crossed out that single word, and with it my whole misunderstanding of time and choices.
“But” is about struggling with something that you don’t want.
However, if you like your job and you like the beach then you’re not struggling, you’re choosing.
“I want to go to the beach and I have to work.”
Getting rid of the “but” is the best way to start making time your friend.
Humans live by the calendar and the clock. We learn early that we must be on time or bad things will happen. Be late to pay your bills and you are penalised. Be late to finish your work and you lose that promotion.
A common phrase we use (and hear being used) is, “Life is too short to…”, implying that time is an opponent to be outraced.
But this narrative is wrong! It is because of the abundance of time and life that we want to seek change and transformation. Life is too long not to make the best of it!
When you have a problem that needs fixing, imagine what your life would be like if you delayed taking action to fix it.
See yourself a year from now with this problem still hanging around. What impact has it had on you? How has it hurt your relationships? What is it doing to you at work? What cost have you paid to your health?
Now take it out to five years. What have you lost? How much have you suffered? What have the people close to you been forced to pay?
When we consider the impact that leaving something unresolved for a long period of time can cause us, we realize the value of taking action in this moment. Time isn’t out to hurt us here. It is giving us an opportunity. And time is there for us, with us, waiting for you to take charge and choose.
Once upon a time, a strong woodcutter got a job with a timber merchant. The pay was really good. The woodcutter was determined to do his best.
His boss gave him an axe and showed him the area where he supposed to work.
The first day, the woodcutter brought down 18 trees.
“Congratulations,” the boss said. “Keep up the great work!”
Very motivated, the woodcutter tried even harder the next day, but he could only cut 15 trees.
The third day he tried even harder, and worked for even longer hours but he could only bring down 10 trees.
The woodcutter was despondent. “However hard or long I work, I am not able to achieve my goal!”
He went to the boss and apologised, saying that he could not understand what was going on.
“When was the last time you sharpened your axe?” the boss asked.
“Sharpen? I had no time to sharpen my axe,” replied the woodcutter, “I have been very busy trying to cut trees…”
The secret to lasting success is not managing time or working harder – it is about managing yourself, specifically your focus and energy.
We all have the same 24 hours every day. The main reason why some people achieve more in any given day than most people do in a month, is not because they manage time better – it is because they focus their energies better.
Every human is a storehouse of different forms of energy – physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. Each of these energies have their own rhythms and peaks and troughs. Each of these energies is renewable, and keeps getting sharpened, like an axe.
Instead of scheduling around time, we need to plan around our energy and willpower levels. By matching the times of the day we have the most energy with our most important tasks, we can significantly improve what we achieve.
As a rule, schedule your most important creative tasks at some point in the early hours of waking up when you have the most energy.
On the other hand, schedule your low creative tasks – emails, social media, phone calls – in the latter part of the day when your energy and willpower is lowest.
Here’s a quick example of scheduling around your energy levels –
Managing ourselves and scheduling around energy, rather than time, allows us to sustain and enhance our productivity and achievement.
One of Tony Robbins’ most memorable lines is, “Where focus goes, energy flows.”
The Professor stood at the head of the class. On his desk were a bag of sand, a bag of pebbles, some big rocks and bucket. He asked for a volunteer to put all three grades of stone into the bucket. A student stepped up to carry out the task, starting with the sand, then the pebbles, then the rocks. Sadly, the rocks do not all fit in the bucket.
The Professor then emptied out the bucket, separating the sand, pebbles and rocks on the desk once again.
“This is an analogy to time management,” he said. “If you’d have put the rocks in first, then the pebbles, then the sand, all three would have fit. By completing your most critical tasks first, you leave room to complete the less important tasks, and then your least critical ones. In tackling your least tasks first, you spend so much time on them that you leave yourself unable to complete the higher priority tasks satisfactorily. Let me show you..”
The Professor re-filled the bucket, big rocks first, then pebbles, then sand, shaking the bucket between each so that everything fits.
“There is always time,” said the Professor, “It is how we use it that makes the difference between success and failure.
Very often, we treat time as an unlimited resource. We hedge. And we procrastinate. We will ‘do it soon’, or ‘tomorrow’, or ‘as soon as I can’.
Time, like health, wellness and money, needs to be planned. For example, if you take a few minutes on Sunday to create a plan for your whole week, you will walk into work on Monday morning with a plan that will help you focus on priorities.
Schedule low-priority tasks for Mondays and other low-energy times. Complete creative and demanding tasks on Tuesday and Wednesday. Schedule meetings for Thursday, when your team’s energy starts to decline. Use your Fridays for planning and networking. Use the first 30 minutes of your day to create a daily to-do list that suits your weekly plan.
Prioritize the big tasks – place the rocks in the bucket first. Once you complete these, you will feel a sense of well-being that will allow you to race through the others.
Planning gives you visibility. Prioritizing gives you control.
As Dale Carnegie said long ago, “An hour of planning can save you 10 hours of doing.”
It is time to take control.
It is time to challenge time and win, with these Three Principles:
If you master these Three Principles, you win the battle with time…
****
Do send your inputs to me, either as a comment or as a PM.
Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 25 August 2020.
Post Script :
#BillionDollarLearnings #radicaladvice #ceochronicles #purpose #mentoring #careers #career #focus #success #growth
Five weapons to deal with the post-pandemic world? Really? Why do I need them?
Read on…
“…we have to let you go…”
“…we need to reduce salaries by 50%…”
“…we are out-sourcing your entire department to Philippines…”
“…the company is unable to meet its obligations, and going into liquidation…”
I truly hope and pray that you have not heard any of the above sentences.
But there is no guarantee that you will not hear these directed at you in the next five years..
Why?
Because disruption, change and transition are becoming the permanent feature of our lives, both in the workplace and out of it.
And because the markets are morphing faster than most companies can cope with.
Because ‘black swan’ events are becoming as common as white swans.
Because politicians and nations are tearing at the tapestry that has been painstakingly developed over the past 70 years, leading to nationalist bombast and global disconnects.
And because you are unprepared and do not have all the tools and weapons you need to survive and thrive in an uncaring, juggernaut world.
The world has changed beyond recognition in the last 6 months. An organism without intellect, form, strategy, or desire has rendered us fearful, cowering and suspicious of one another. It has stopped us from entering our workplaces, from travelling, from entertainment, from sports. It has rendered us humans, the most powerful of all species on earth, impotent.
Prepare.
You need to prepare to survive and thrive in a situation where the odds are against you.
Prepare to fight forces that are much more powerful, and win.
And to prepare for the future, look to the past.
The year was 218 BCE.
Carthage and Rome were at war.
Hannibal, Carthage’s general, realised that he was taking on the most powerful army in the world.
His first major battle in Italy at Trebia was an incomplete success as the Roman center broke free and escaped.
So, he changed his tactics. Deep in the forested hills of Italy, Hannibal planned to trap the entire Roman army. Taking advantage of the aggressive pursuit of the Roman general Flaminius, Hannibal led the Romans onto a narrow path between Lake Trasimene and the rolling hills.
Hannibal had set a small force at the far side of the lake with large amounts of baggage, fire and plenty of smoke. This was to make it seem that they were the rearguard of his army marching or preparing to march just over the next hill. Flaminius took the bait and sent his men in a pursuit column to quickly march along the narrow road between the hills and the coast.
Little did Flaminius know that the hills he was squeezing past contained the vast majority of Hannibal’s hidden army. Once Flaminius’ force had all been funneled into the gap, the Carthaginians charged down the hills, smashing into the disorganized Roman marching column. Nearly the entire 30,000 man Roman army was killed or captured. Hannibal won decisively.
The battle of Lake Trasimene remains, after 2,200 years, the biggest successful ambush in history.
What weapons did Hannibal use to succeed against a vastly superior force?
Hannibal was only 27 years old when he took over as general of the Carthaginian army.
He did not have the experience that Rome’s generals had; nor he did not have their massive armies; and he surely did not have their unending wealth.
What he had was five weapons. What he had was (AND SO CAN YOU!) :
Situational awareness is the study and perception of environmental elements and events, understanding them and their impact, and recognising their impact on the future.
It is critical to planning and preparing yourself for the changing, shifting world. It is necessary to ensure that we are not caught unawares, and find ourselves on the wrong side of any table.
Hannibal learnt everything he could about the countries and armies around him. He sent out spies, he built networks, he made allies – all to ensure that he was always situationally aware.
This allowed him to understand Rome’s military tactics and plan his own to counter them.
Hannibal realized early the need to be agile, the need for speed, the ability to turn on a dime.
He recognized that inertia was a fatal flaw; that the tortoise wins only in fables and not in real life.
He trained himself and his armies in moving quickly. Legend has it that the entire force of 8,000 soldiers could set up or break camp in less than 6 hours. He developed the concept of redundancy – he not just had a Plan B, he had a Plan C, a Plan D and a Plan E – and he ensured that he could switch from one to the other at lightning speed.
Long before Facebook and LinkedIn, Hannibal knew the criticality of networking.
First, with his own army. Hannibal lived among his soldiers and worked alongside them. He knew his men well, and built amazing relationships.
Second, with adjoining kingdoms and countries. Hannibal realized that if he was going to war, he would need allies. He could not leave his back vulnerable while rushing forward. He built alliances, partnership and friendships across Europe.
Hannibal had a clear vision and strategy; but he did not cast this in stone. He knew, long before modern military strategists, that “no battle plan survives the first contact with the enemy”.
He had a broad overarching vision (he knew what he wanted to achieve), and multiple approaches and strategies that he could shift between, choosing the most optimal path for that moment in time.
By doing this, Hannibal always kept ahead of the situation unfolding around him.
Hannibal is one of the earliest historical generals who is known to have been ‘a student for life’.
He realised that his knowledge needed to be continuously updated and refreshed. If it was not, his strategy would be out of date, his plans would become stale, his relationships would wither.
He would read and listen and ask questions and send out scouts and pore over maps and understand cultures and behaviours.
When he won, he spent time understanding why. When he lost, he did the same. Every day was a day to add to his knowledge, to his understanding, to his appreciation of the world.
Hannibal, like you, lived in tumultuous and disruptive times. He, too, was young and ambitious. He, too, wanted to survive and win and succeed.
Let us be clear – you, like Hannibal, are at war. A different kind of war, but a war nevertheless. You are at war with political incompetence, corporate greed, geopolitical tension, black swans, climate change, morphing workplaces. Each of these can hurt you, render you and your family vulnerable and homeless, can cause you hurt and pain and suffering.
You, like Hannibal, need to arm yourself with these five weapons that will allow you to battle with and overcome the challenges that you face today and will face increasingly tomorrow.
What are these five weapons?
Armed with these five weapons, Hannibal took on the most powerful army in the world and won.
So can you.
****
If you fear the ‘I am so sorry… situation’ for those you care, help me share thse principles with them, so that they may prepare themselves before it is too late…
Please send your inputs to me, either as a comment or as a PM.
Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 28 July 2020.
Post Script :
#ceochronicles #careeradvice #careers #bestadvice #hiringandpromotion #personaldevelopment #success #leadership #purpose #fulfilment
“In response to the question on why some teams are so toxic, may I tell you a story?” asked Faizal, as he settled back into the sofa with a dew-dotted glass in his hand.
Faizal’s words were in response to my describing my meeting with Karla and her descriptions of the toxic behaviours of her team. I had just posed the three questions Karla had asked me at the end of our meeting :
“Of course, Faizal!” said Chow Yen, “I am a sucker for stories! Go for it!” He, too, held a glass with golden yellow liquid that sparkled in the mood lighting in the lounge.
“Me too!” said Anders, “I have often given this question thought, and would really like to hear your reasons for a team becoming or being toxic.” Anders held a plate of tuna sandwiches that he was demolishing rapidly.
(If you are new to the CEO Chronciles, a quick catch up : The Gang Of Four was the informal group of four friends – Anders, Chow Yen, Faizal and I – which met once every 5-6 weeks to catch up, and more importantly, to discuss issues and problems each of us was facing and to find approaches and solutions together. Today, we were in the bar lounge in St. Regis).
“Great,”said Faizal. “It was 2008 and I had just taken over as CEO of ABC Limited…”
ABC Limited was an established privately held Group headquartered in Singapore. It was established in 1985, and had steadily grown into a transnational company.
ABC Singapore, in addition to the corporate office, had two business units (BUs), one focusing on engineering products and the other delivering diverse maintenance and repair services.
After I settled down, (said Faizal) I noticed that the two teams were very different. They were each on a separate floor, below the corporate office. The product BU floor had a subdued air to it. The services BU, on the other hand, seemed full of laughter and light.
Financially, both BUs were performing similarly, with similar toplines and acceptable margins. However, on closer analysis, the product BU numbers seemed to have a gradual downward trend, and the services BU was clearly moving upwards.
Operationally, I noticed that the product BU had a high attrition rate. The BU had separated from 18 people in the last year, out of a total of 42.
My antennae tingled and I decided to learn more. I started with talking to my Group CFO, Sheetal.
The discussion was not comfortable. Sheetal hemmed and hawed and spoke in generic phrases, which was very unlike her normally frank approach.
I then spoke to our Group COO, Geoff. He, too, seemed to dance around the questions I asked, not committing to anything.
I had had enough. I invited Sheetal and Geoff out for a drink that evening, and once we were settled, I looked at them seriously.
“Guys,” I said, “quit fooling around. I want you to tell me what is going on with the product BU. No hedging and feinting, please!”
Sheetal and Geoff looked at each other. They had been working together for the past 4 years, and knew each other well. Some kind of signal passed between the two, and Geoff leaned forward.
“Well, Faizal,” he started, “Morton was hired by your predecessor about two and a half years ago. I believe that both of them, ahh, hmm, share a nationality? And have been friends for some time. Do you get me?”
“Am beginning to,” I said, the light slowly dawning, “please go on.”
“Um, well,” Geoff was clearly uncomfortable, “so Morton was brought in as the General Manager of the product BU without much involvement by any of us. He was like, what you say, a special case?”
“Okay,” I said, “I get where you are going. And then?”
Sheetal took over. “Morton is, uh, different,” she said, “he comes from a different industry, and thinks and behaves differently…”
I sat up as straight as I could in the soft lounge settee.
“Sheetal, Geoff, much as I respect your reticence and sensitivity,” I said, firmly, “if we have a problem with one of our teams, I need to know it, and the sooner the better. If you keep throwing euphemisms at me, how am I expected to analyse the issues involved?
Finally, the floodgates opened. I listened and listened and took notes.
And I understood the problem.
The next morning, I called the Chief HR Officer to my room.
“Anna,” I asked, “May I see the exit interviews for these ex-employees?” I gave her the list of the 18 people who had left Geoff’s team in the previous 12 months.
Anna glanced at the list. “Why do you need…?” she began, and then she recognised the names. “Oh…” She looked at me for a few moments, poised to say something. Then she rose to leave. “You will have it in an hour, Faizal,” she said.
I spent the afternoon reading 18 documents that confirmed the understanding that had dawned on me the previous evening.
The words, “self-involved”, ‘apathetic”, “selfish”, “untrustworthy”, “incapable” and “incompetent” were repeated too many times to have been missed.
My opinion of my predecessor dropped more than a bit.
The exit interview minutes described a leader who had no right to that title; a boss in name only, with little interest in anything other than self-interest; a manager who abdicated his duties; a teammate who had long forsaken his team; a professional who blamed his incompetence on his subordinates.
At about 5:00 PM, I asked Anna to see me again. She did, but her feet dragged as she walked into my room.
“You know about this,” I said. It was not a question, really.
“Yes,” Anna answered. She couldn’t meet my eyes.
“You are the head of HR,” I said, trying to maintain a neutral tone. “It is your responsibility to…”
I stopped. Anna was working hard to control herself.
“I tried!” she said. “Every time, I shared the feedback with the CEO. Each time, I recommended that we needed to act on this! But…” she realised that she was raising her voice, and paused.
When Anna had recovered a little, she continued. “Every time, Faizal, every time I was told that the matter has been ‘noted’ and that appropriate counselling will be given. That I don’t need to worry. That I should leave it with the CEO.”
“And?” I asked gently.
“And nothing,” Anna said, frustrated. “Good people kept leaving, and we took no action. Other teams complained, and we took no action. It was almost as if Morton was being protected…”
“It’s not your fault, Anna,” I said, as comfortingly as I could. “You did your best.”
Anna looked at me, her expression a mix of sadness and disappointment.
“No, I did not do my best,” she said, “That is why I am feeling so terrible.”
Before I left that day, I called Sarang, the General Manager of the Services BU, and asked him to drop in for a chat.
I sped through the pleasantries.
“Sarang,” I said, “let me get to the point of this meeting. You have been in this company for more than 7 years. You are a smart, capable manager and leader. There is no question but that you know about the problems in the Product BU?”
“Yes, Faizal,” Sarang answered, without hesitation, “I know.”
“What did you do about it, if anything?”
“Me? Nothing,” said Sarang. “I don’t have anything to do with that BU.”
“I hear you, Sarang,” I said, “the question is why. You are part of this company’s senior management. If you have been seeing a dysfunctional team for nearly 4 years, you should have intervened.”
“Honestly, Faizal,” said Sarang, “I am focused on my BU. That is what I am paid for. My team is doing well, and I have achieved all my targets. I don’t see why I should interfere or intervene in another BU’s issues.”
“Oh,” I said, “fair enough. Have you heard of a poet named John Donne?”
Sarang’s brow creased. “No, sorry, never hear of him.”
“Thanks, Sarang,” I said, “Just check John Donne out on the internet, will you? He has written a wonderful poem on islands and continents…”
Faizal leaned back, and took a deep gulp of his drink, and sat back, smiling at us.
Chow Yen sat forward. “Okay, Faizal, great story, but don’t keep us in suspense any longer! So, what are the main causes for some teams to be so toxic?”
Faizal grinned. “Oh, I thought you would have got that from the article’s sub-titles,” he remarked. “Let me sum it up for you. Teams are or become toxic if,
“I am not saying these are the only causes or symptoms. But these are the big ones, I believe.”
Anders lifted his glass. “Excellent Faizal, a well woven story! Thank you!
I raised my glass, too. “Great narrative, Faizal, you had us on the edges of our seats. One question before we disperse – what did you do next?”
Faizal cocked his eyebrow. “Isn’t that Karla’s next question, Shesh – ‘How can toxicity be removed from a team’? Shouldn’t that be addressed in the next article?
****
Faizal has shared four causes of toxic teams. There are many more causes – can you share any that you have come across? Either in your own company or a situation that you have encountered?
Please send them to me, either as a comment or as a PM. Let us work to find a solution to this unfortunately common problem.
Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 02 June 2020.
Post Script :
#ceochronicles #careeradvice #careers #bestadvice #hiringandpromotion #personaldevelopment #success #leadership
This week, I was to write about the fourth weapon in the PERRfect Employee’s arsenal – Resilience.
However, we are in a dire situation where the whole world needs resilience. Countries, communities, companies, individuals across the globe are in the thrall of a pandemic. Borders are being shut down, jobs are being lost, subsistence is at risk, fever is raging and the bodies are piling. How do we cope?
So, rather than write about the components of resilience or the professional’s path to resilience, I am sharing two touching stories about people who have gone through their darkest times and found their way out into light.
These stories are extracts from www.optionb.org, a platform that helps people build resilience and find meaning in the face of adversity.
That moment that everything changes. For me, that was July 17, 1989. Sitting in a police interrogation room, my world crashed down as I listened to two detectives tell me that my husband had coordinated and carried out the murder of his father.
At the time, I was newly married and seven months pregnant. When I learnt that the man I had loved and planned a family with could do such a horrible thing, it buried my head, my heart, and my hope for the future in darkness.
As much as I wanted to move forward and back into the light, reminders of that day were inescapable for the next several years. Newspaper headlines and evening news stories about my husband’s case were a regular occurrence. My hometown community whispered. Friends walked away. His trial and sentencing to twenty-two years to life brought even more press coverage and chatter.
But in that time of darkness, my beautiful child was born. My desire to move forward turned into a need to move forward. The need begat a will to move forward. And I began to see that I had options for my life, and my daughter’s life, other than those that were crushed. I would find another option, and it would be good.
This was not easy. It required me to step out of complacency and into action. As I navigated my divorce, I had to use my voice in a new and assertive way, something that I was not used to. Being burdened by all of the financial obligations of my ex-husband’s debts tested my negotiation skills. I faced and dealt with the emotional fallout of fear, betrayal and anxiety. For the first time, I was truly choosing to happen to life, rather than letting life happen to me. I was choosing resiliency.
There were moments when I had to simply rely on a will-do attitude, rather than a can-do attitude. At times, I wanted to sink back under what felt like the weight of the world. But as I took accountability and responsibility for shaping my future, and that of my daughter, I decided that my life would be a life of victory, not of being a victim of someone else’s actions and the judgment and darkness they brought.
In the years since, I have found a healthy and loving relationship. I have raised three daughters to be strong, independent women. At the age of thirty-five, I returned to college and earned my degree on the same day that my oldest daughter earned hers. I have traveled the world.
Along the journey, life has tested my resilience time and again. Emotions, questions, anger, confusion, and hurt didn’t just disappear when I chose something different for our lives. But as issues arise, I feel, address, and work through them. I learn from them.
You see, I did not just move forward to exist. I bounced forward and am living.
A week after New Year’s Day, Gabby Giffords was shot. The year of 2011, which had started so inspired, had turned into a tragedy..
Gabby loved New Year’s. To her, starting afresh has significant meaning. Before she was shot, Gabby was one of those dedicated New Year’s resolution-makers – she always had a list of 10 things she wanted to achieve, whether reading more books or finally taking lessons in the French horn, the instrument she played in college. She always prompted her husband to make his own resolution, because he never would without her encouragement. But that year, and every year since, she’s had one resolution: to keep fighting through her recovery.
Gabby was shot by a zealot, who also killed and injured eighteen other people in his shooting spree. In one instant, her life and those of her family changed.
Gabby was shot point blank in the head. She was not expected to live. But she did. She survived and after two harrowing weeks in the hospital, began the long road to recovery.
Gabby suffered from severe aphasia, a result of her traumatic brain injury, which made speaking difficult. She was paralyzed in her right arm and right leg, so she had difficulty moving around. Gabby lost 50% of her vision in both eyes. These struggles remain to this day.
On 1st August, 2011, eight months after she was shot, Gabby made her first public appearance on the House floor to vote in favor of raising the debt limit ceiling. She was met with a standing ovation and accolades from her fellow members of Congress.
On 22nd January, 2012, Gabby announced that she would resign from her congressional seat in order to concentrate on her recovery, but promised to return to public service in the future.
Over the past years, Gabby has gone through intensive rehabilitation treatments. Her surgeon noted that Gabby’s recovery was long, arduous and tiring, and expressed amazement at her progress.
Even through all the pain and trauma, Gabby opened her heart and home to everyone who wanted to talk to her. She refuses to give up, and stills sees the world in a positive light. Gabby runs a political action committee “Giffords: Courage to Fight Gun Violence.” She is still a vital politician and activist, active on Twitter and working passionately to give voice to millions of regular Americans who desire gun control and safety.
It’s coming on nine years now. And in that time, Gabby and her husband Mark have learned a lot.
“You may find that after times of tragedy or struggle, your cherished traditions change,” says Mark. “Some may disappear. Others may just need to wait, for now. But if you leave yourself open to them, new ones will appear – and you’ll find causes for celebration and types of resolve that you may not have otherwise imagined…”
As we see from the above stories, resilience is the hard fought ability to bounce back from tough situations. Resilience is about NOT becoming a victim of helplessness and angst.
So often, we go through such horrible situations that it seems impossible to come out strong on the other end. But resilience allows us to just this. Once we learn to take control of our lives, prepare for the unexpected, reinforce our mental, spiritual and physical selves, we will find ourselves living happier, more purpose-filled lives. We will also learn to handle adversity with calm and deliberation.
Increasing our resilience is about willpower, about deliberate action, about being adaptable, about self esteem.
We will discuss these aspects of resilience in the next article.
Till then, let us all be healthy, safe and positive. Let us try and help those around us whose ability to cope is less than ours. To find ways to be proactive and empathetic with our families, friends, neighbours and community members. Let us be products of our actions, not of our circumstances.
This pandemic, too, will pass. We will be strong again.
****
Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 31 March 2020.
Post Script :
Credits :
#ceochronicles #careeradvice #careers #bestadvice #hiringandpromotion #personaldevelopment #success #leadership #purpose
In #ceochronicles article 22, we began our discussion on Emotional Intelligence (and Emotional Quotient or EQ). We met Peter and Paul and saw how differently they reacted to the same situation. We discussed the definition of Emotional Intelligence (EI) and how this quality can change our lives for the better.
While I was reading about EI and EQ, I came across this brilliant extract from a speech by Mr. Sundar Pichai, CEO of Google, which I thought you would love!
At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady.
She started screaming out of fear.
With a panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.
Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky.
The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but …it landed on another lady in the group.
Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.
A waiter, hearing the commotion, rushed forward.
In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter.
The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt.
When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers, walked to the door and threw it out of the restaurant.
Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior?
If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed?
He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.
It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the presence of the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.
I realized that, it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it’s my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.
It’s not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.
More than the problem, it’s my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life.
I understood that I should not react in life.
That I should always respond.
The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.
Reactions are always instinctive, whereas responses are always well thought of, just and right to save a situation from going out of hand, to avoid cracks in relationship, to avoid taking decisions in anger, anxiety, stress or hurry.
Just as Peter’s EQ helped him keep calm and thoughtful, so did the waiter’s. Both of them rose above the situations they were in and took actions that benefited not just themselves but everyone around them.
Emotionally intelligent employees are dependable and reliable.
They look at the whole picture and act with thought and planning.
Such employees understand not just their own needs, but the needs and requirements of others around them.
They recognise that ‘no man is an island’ and put their team or community ahead of themselves.
By doing all this, they build an amazing reputation. People respect them. Organisations recognise them as leaders. People look to them in times of crisis.
Having a high EQ sets you apart and puts you ahead.
The 8 steps to becoming Emotionally Intelligent are :
We rarely try and understand our emotions. Most often, we ignore them or suppress them. But when we ignore our feelings, we are overlooking an important and integral part of ourselves. Our emotions have a huge effect on our mindsets and behaviours.
We need to start understanding our feelings and connecting them to our experiences.
For example, when we are at work and we hear that a colleague has bad-mouthed us. What emotions arise when this happens? Or, when we are praised for completing a project on time. What exactly do we feel? Naming our emotions – sadness, embarrassment, joy, contentment, etc., will help us understand how we react to different situations and stimuli, and help us understand ourselves better.
The next step is to understand the impact of emotion on our behaviour. How do we react when we feel a particular emotion?
Do we withdraw when we are embarrassed? Or do we become belligerent?
Do we raise our voices when we are angry, or do we walk away to be alone?
Do we cry when we feel hurt or do we try and take it out on someone else?
The more we understand what emotion causes which behavioral impulse, the better we will be able to actually control and change our behaviour to our advantage.
Often, we don’t like our emotions. As often, we don’t like ourselves when we are emotional.
All our emotions are valid, even the negative ones. Every emotion we have is a new piece of useful information connected to something that’s happening around us. Without this information, we will not know how to adequately respond to different situations – we will only react.
I have personally found it very difficult rationally evaluating and accepting my emotions. For many years, I have practiced letting negative emotions surface and connecting them to what is happening around and to me. By doing so, I have learnt my ‘hot buttons’ and ‘triggers’. Today, I am better equipped to know what emotion triggers which reaction in me, and to consciously try and plan my response.
We cannot control the emotions we feel, but we can decide how we respond to them. If I have an issue with lashing out in anger or shutting down when I am hurt, and I know this, I can start planning how I should behave differently. The next time I am angry, I recognise this and I say to myself – from past experience I have learnt that lashing out only makes things worse; let me take a walk for a few minutes and calm down and then come back and respond with a cooler mind.
By understanding our emotions and our past behaviour patterns, instead of letting our emotions overwhelm us, we can decide how we will behave.
So when something negative happens in our life, let us take a moment to feel our emotions. Once the initial wave has passed, let us make a conscious decision to communicate our feelings in a calm manner, rather than lashing out or walking out.
Much of the time, our reactions are an outcome of ignorance. Often, when we are faced with situations or events, we don’t know what we want the outcome to be. This is because we don’t know what we want and why.
When I was younger, I would get enraged when people did not listen to my ideas. This would lead to my becoming increasingly aggressive, which would then push people even further away.
After years of introspection, I realised that one of my innermost needs was to be seen as innovative. I realised that when people did not heed my ideas, I felt rejected. Gradually, I realised that this was not their fault, but mine. Over time, I modified the intensity of this craving. As this happened, I realised that when I began placing my ideas on the table without desperation or aggression, they had a much better chance of being accepted.
The more we understand our needs and desires, the better we are able to manage the way we communicate and respond.
Being open to ideas and inputs is a critical aspect of EQ. When our minds are open through understanding and internal reflection, we find it easier to deal with conflicts in a calm and self-assured manner.
Often, even today, I find myself believing that there is only one ‘right’ way to do certain things. The moment I believe this, I have narrowed my mind. I find myself rejecting any new inputs or ideas, and getting angry and frustrated when others don’t accept ‘my way’.
Every time this has happened, it has led to unhappy outcomes. By keeping our minds open, we find ourselves more socially aware and open to new possibilities. We are more receptive and understand others better, leading to better and more agreeable outcomes.
An important aspect of EQ is to be able to recognize how other people are feeling. To do this, we need to ‘listen actively’, really paying attention to what people are saying, to their body language, to their microexpressions. The more we understand their feelings, their reactions and their mindsets, the better our interactions and communication with them.
To improve our empathy, we need to put ourselves in other people’s shoes. We need to think about how we would feel if we were in their situation. We need to imagine how it must be to go through the experiences they are encountering and what might alleviate some of their hardship in terms of support and care.
Empathy allows us to be truly interested in what people are saying, so that we can respond in a sensitive and helpful way, thus adding value to them in their time of need.
And finally, we need to understand our effect on the people around us. Do we make people happy? Or do we make them nervous? Are we inclusive? Or do we exclude?
We need to identify these patterns. Do I tend to pick fights with my loved ones? Do people tend to close up a bit when I am around? If so, I need to change my attitude, approach and behaviour so that I can have a better emotional effect on people.
I try and ask my family and trusted friends what they think about my impact on them and their feelings. I ask them to tell me the areas I need to improve in. (This list is long and is a work in progress!) By doing so, I am able to gradually improve the impact of my behaviour on their lives.
Being Emotionally Intelligent is more than about doing well in your career.
Having a high EQ makes you more positive, more accessible, more likeable and more reliable.
I hope you are able to use these eight steps to find your path to a life full of contentment and satisfaction and inner peace.
****
If you believe your EQ stands apart, pat yourself on the back, click like and comment, “YES!”. If you do not believe so, let’s start our journey together today.
Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 03 March 2020.
Post Script :
#ceochronicles #careeradvice #careers #bestadvice #hiringandpromotion #personaldevelopment #success #leadership EQ EQ EQ
In #ceochronicles article 22, we asked, ‘What qualities make up a perfect employee?’
We listed out the four main qualities of a PERRfect employee are –
Once we identified these qualities, you asked, sometimes nicely and sometimes impatiently,
Many years ago, I asked these very same questions! The answers changed my life in more ways than I ever imagined…
To answer first the question,
We don’t need to look too far away or too far back.
“Singapore Government raises DORSCON Level to Orange!” said the headline.
“This is terrible!” he screamed at his wife. “We will run out of food and essentials! There is no place to run! We need to barricade ourselves! We need to protect ourselves! How can God do this to us? It must be all those nasty immigrants!”
By the end of the day, Peter and his wife,
Purchased as many noodles packets (200) and as much rice (50 kgs) as they could and stocked up on 40 cartons of bottled water.
Bought as many toilet paper rolls as possible.
Obtained (from a grey market source) 2,000 face masks.
Obtained (from the same grey market source) 60 bottles of hand sanitiser.
Had fights with all the shops and markets they went to, when they were told that there is a limit on the number of items they could purchase.
Carried all their purchases from the car to their apartment in suitcases so that no one would know what or how much they had.
In the coming days, Peter spent his time avidly following social media stories and news and becoming more worried and scared. He also forwarded and shared many scary stories and anecdotes with everyone he knew.
Two days later, he heard that one of the apartments in his condo had a suspected case. He told his wife, and they agreed that they would not go anywhere near that apartment (or that block!).
When one of his neighbours mentioned on WhatsApp that he had run out of masks, Peter sent out a message saying that he, too, had run out of masks and sanitiser.
When his neighbours put together a watch group to sanitise the elevators and common areas, Peter smiled grimly and waited for them to fall sick.
“Singapore Government raises DORSCON Level to Orange!” said the headline.
“This is terrible!” he said to his wife. “This is going to affect all of us individually and as a country. I hope we will be able to work together to deal with this problem calmly.”
“What should we do,” his wife asked. “Do we need to hurry and buy masks and food?”
“Let’s first understand the situation properly,” said Paul.
Over the next few days, Paul and his wife,
Spoke to all their relatives and friends, and assured them that all would be fine.
Read as much as they could about the Corona Virus and its spread and impacts.
Shared relevant information with their networks to calm some of their friends down.
Evaluated what they had at home and calculated that they had enough for a week, or even two weeks if they were economical.
Visited the family of a suspected case in their condo, and offered their help.
Helped put together a watch group to disinfect the elevators and common areas.
Shared their extra stock of masks and hand sanistiser with a neighbour who had run out.
Continued to stay in touch with their friends and relatives, asking if anyone needed help.
Paul, even though in the exact same situation as Peter, acted differently.
He was self-aware. He did not panic or give in to fear.
Paul controlled his emotions. He did not react without thought.
Paul knew what he wanted and why. He planned the way forward.
He cared. And looked beyond himself.
He recognized others’ needs and helped. He stepped up and added value.
This is the essence of Emotional Intelligence. Our ability to know ourselves, control ourselves, understand our and others’ motivations, empathise and care.
Who would you prefer as a neighbour or a colleague or as a boss?
I know that I would much rather have Paul, any day, any where, any time.
As we saw, in the stark difference between Peter and Paul, Emotional Intelligence helps you be calm, serene and thoughtful, even in the most dire of situations.
Emotionally intelligent employees are dependable and reliable.
They look at the whole picture and act with thought and planning.
Such employees understand not just their own needs, but the needs and requirements of others around them.
They recognize that ‘no man is an island’ and put their team or community ahead of themselves.
By doing all this, they build an amazing reputation. Their colleagues respect them. Their peers recognize them as leaders. The entire team (or organization) looks to them in times of crisis.
Being Emotionally Intelligent sets you apart and puts you ahead.
There are 8 steps to becoming Emotionally Intelligent.
These include –
Since this article is already quite long, may we dig deeper into these 8 steps in the next article?
In the meantime, if you are eager to know more, do check this link out – a 2 minute video and a superb summary of the 5 components of Emotional Intelligence.
Being Emotionally Intelligent is more than about doing well in your career.
It makes you calmer, helps you de-stress, and leads to a deep feeling of happiness, with yourself and with others.
Being Emotionally Intelligent makes you more positive, more accessible, more likable and more reliable – all of which lead to your fulfilling your belonging and esteem needs, thus leading to a life full of contentment and satisfaction and inner peace.
****
If you believe you are Emotionally Intelligent, pat yourself on the back, click like and comment, “YES!”. If you do not believe so, let’s start our journey together today.
Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 18 February 2020.
Post Script :
#ceochronicles #careeradvice #careers #bestadvice #hiringandpromotion #personaldevelopment #success #leadership
Hi, Shesh, you must have encountered failure in your career? How did you cope with it?
When I was about 35, I was passed over for promotion. I had worked hard for it, was promised it, and then my supervisor told me that she was promoting one of my colleagues to this position.
My world collapsed. There seemed to be no point in all my hard work and dedication. I wanted to resign. More than anything else, I wanted to crawl into bed and never get.
I dragged myself back home and reluctantly spoke to my wife. I cried.
She held me and comforted me. And she said the four magic words – this, too, shall pass.
She was right.
Things did not get better overnight. But in the days and weeks that followed, I learnt –
Failure is transient.
It is a dip, not a downfall.
Failure can be reversed.
And it is a great teacher.
In time, I accepted this failure, and added my learnings to my toolkit. I worked harder and smarter. Within eight months, I was promoted to an even more challenging position.
That night, my wife and I hit the best restaurant in town, and painted it red.
****
Could you share how you would respond to failure? Or success?
#radicaladvice #ceochronicles #businessadvisory #careeradvice #mentoring #purpose #success #fulfilment #satisfaction #freedom
The article, “Four Monkeys & An Elephant” narrated two fables about how we often shackle ourselves with past practices and negative self-belief. Subsequently, “How To Escape From Prison” described how a company broke away from its shackles to find a new and better future. Finally, this story, “Victim to CEO” is about how an individual finds his way to success breaking the shackles that threatened to imprison him.
The boy stood at the edge of the playground.
His classmates were kicking the football, running and laughing.
Two of his classmates ran past him. One looked in his direction.
“See, there’s Black Sambo! Hey Black Sambo!”
The other looked back.
“Hey, Blackie! What are you doing here? Go wash yourself!”
The boy turned to go. Just then, two seniors walked by. As they looked at him, one said something to the other, and both laughed.
“…what the hell does he eat? How did he get so fat…” their words trailed as they went past.
The boy dipped his head and walked to the classroom. He pulled out a book from his bag and started to read, even though his eyes were too moist to make out the words.
The boy looked around at the vast wedding hall. Boy, was it huge! And so many people…
“Hello, boy!” It was an older couple dressed to their nines. “And who are you?”
The boy mumbled his parents’ names.
“Ah!” the man said and began moving away.
“…his brothers seem to be smart and handsome young men. But this one, no one knows where he came from. I hear they wanted a girl, you know. What a shock it must have been to get a fat darkie instead…”
The boy walked to the side doors of the hall, and sat on the steps, and pulled out a book.
The boy stood in front of the teacher’s desk.
She looked at him sternly. “If this is your standard of work, you are never going to amount to anything! How can you make so many mistakes? Why can’t you check your work?”
The boy lowered his head and said nothing. He heard his classmates tittering behind him.
“Useless. Absolutely useless!” the teacher said. “Go back to your seat!”
The boy walked past his parents’ bedroom.
“He wants to attend singing classes,” he heard his mother say.
“But he can’t sing. He can’t hold a tune!” his father replied.
“Yes, but I don’t want to hurt him. So, I told him that the teacher accepts only girls.”
Their voices faded as he moved on.
The young man sat on the college dormitory terrace, back against the wall. Four others lounged around him. In the centre were two bottles of cheap rum and a pile of potato wafers.
“So, what’s your story?” asked one of his friends, “What made you so good in academics? You’ve been topping every subject, every term! Were you always like this?”
The young man looked up and laughed shortly. “Absolutely not! Things were terrible when I was younger.”
“When I was a boy, no one believed in me. Not my family, not my teachers, and definitely not my classmates. So, I had no choice. I had learn how to ignore everyone else’s opinion and believe in myself.”
“Then, I realized that I did not have many talents. I wasn’t too intelligent. But I wanted to be someone. I wanted to be worthy of my belief. I learned that even if I am not clever, I can still work hard and start early. So, from the first day of the semester, I read the subjects again and again, until I understand them completely. I solve every question, twice or thrice, if necessary. I revise continuously. Basically, I make up for my shortfalls by planning, preparing and working.”
Another friend spoke. “Isn’t it painful? Is this really what you want to do, or like doing?”
“Well”, said the young man, “I read somewhere that if you can’t be with the one you love, then you should love the one you’re with. To me this means – be happy in whatever I do, rather than just try and do what makes me happy. Does this make sense?”
The friend laughed. “I am not sure. So, let’s see – you believe in yourself, push yourself to your limits and try to find happiness in whatever you do. Most people would find that much effort and commitment too difficult to sustain!”
The young man nodded. “Nothing worthwhile is ever easy,” he said, as he sipped his drink.
The man adjourned the meeting. His team and he were exhausted. It had been a grueling few weeks.
“One last word from me,” he said. “Thank you. Thank you to each and every one of you for the amazing efforts and commitment you have shown over the past two months. We have done everything we can. Now, win or lose, you are all my heroes!”
Smiles and applause broke out across the room.
“Also, for those of you are not going straight to bed, drinks are on me!”
His words were greeted by a cheer.
Later that evening, at the bar, he looked around at his team with affection.
“Sir?”
The man turned. “Yes?”
“I’m not sure if this is the right time to ask,” said the young executive, “but I heard that you have been promoted more times than anyone else. How did you manage this?”
“Well,” the man said, “I have often asked myself this, and this is what I have come to believe.
“I really hope to be like you someday!” said the young man.
The man smiled. “That’s a nice thing to say. But take my advice – be who you are, and not what others are or expect you to be…”
The man looked out of the window. Well, the view from the CEO’s office is not very different from the other offices, he thought to himself.
He turned and walked to his desk. Behind it hung the poster he had had with him for more than two decades. He read it aloud as he had done a thousand times before :
“A flower does not care about what people think of it. It just blooms.”
He sat down in his chair.
That was a long and amazing journey, he mused. So much luck, so many good friends. So many wonderful teachers and mentors. Such superb colleagues and teams. Fantastic opportunities and amazing outcomes…
Well, I have reached my destination. Time to deliver expectations…
He leaned forward and opened his laptop.
So, here are the five take-aways from this story – so that you, too, can achieve whatever you want :
Could you let me know, in the comments, which of the five is your favorite? Do you have a take-away that I may have missed? If so, please share it in the comments, someone struggling out there might badly need it.
I hope you have enjoyed reading this installment of CEO Chronicles. If you want to ‘be who you are, and bloom in your career’, send me a message or write to me.
Cheers,
Shesh.
(Singapore / 12 November 2019)
Post Script :
Victim To CEO / Victim To CEO / Victim To CEO / Victim To CEO / Victim To CEO