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What Women Want # 5 : The Right To Be A Woman February 11th, 2020 by Shesh

#ceochronicles #whatwomenwant the right to be woman

“What we want is to be comfortable being a woman in the workplace,” says Warini.

Warini is an HR manager in an digital marketing company. We are standing together, having lunch during an HR conference at the MBS Convention Centre.

“You will need to explain that sentence,“ I say, smiling.

“I have to be careful how I do so,” says Warini, “often, such discussions come across with women sounding whiny and complaining, and that is not what I want to be.”

“I understand,” I say, “I have heard the same point from other women. Trust me, you don’t need to worry – you just need to speak and make your voices heard. If you keep quiet, it is much worse than seeming whiny.”

“True, that,” says Warini, with a small smile. “Okay, here goes…”

“I don’t whether you will understand this, being a man,’ she starts, “but, somehow, being a woman at home and being a woman at work are two entirely different things. At home, being a woman is comfortable and accepted. At work, being the exact same woman is viewed with disdain, disrespect and discrimination.”

I waited for her to continue.

DISCRIMINATION

“You have no idea what I am taking about,” says Warini, looking at my face and grinning, “let’s take being pregnant, for example – having a baby is celebrated at home. Everyone is happy, I am treated with care and respect, people go out of their way to ensure I am comfortable, and so on.”

“But,” and her face turns solemn, “having a baby as a working woman is a different matter altogether. It is treated as a huge problem – almost as a deliberate infraction of some kind of code. One of my previous bosses used to never hire young married women. ‘Oh, she will start dropping babies, and disrupt everything,’ he would say, ‘no point wasting time on her.’ I know many career women who are actually afraid of starting a family, knowing that their career will most likely be affected.”

“Friends of mine have lost their jobs because they have become pregnant. 2-3 of them have been accused of ‘taking advantage’ of the company by using maternity leave. ‘The company is paying you while you are sitting at home and doing nothing.’ And so many, more than I can count, have returned to work, to find that their job duties have changed or that they been demoted.”

I stare at her, my mouth partially agape.

“No point wasting time? Demotion?” I ask, shocked.

“Absolutely,” Warini says, “but this is not overt. It is very insidious. Three months ago, in this company, a purchaser, Rosy, had a baby. When she returned, her boss ‘suggested’ that she handle document control rather than purchasing, as it would be ‘more convenient’. Rosy protested strongly, but to no avail. ‘It’s good for you’, she was told. She is truly unhappy and is now looking for another job. Losing her is going to hurt us, as she is one of our best employees.”

‘This is discrimination!” I say, my voice rising, and other delegates nearby turning to look at me.

“Yes,” says Warini, wearily, “but it is couched as a ‘favour’ to the new mother. ‘Oh, poor thing, let us give her an easier task to do’. It is very difficult to fight this, as we are seen to be ungrateful.”

“So, one of a woman’s greatest joys – the creation of life – becomes a burden, a disadvantage, something to fear,” I say, indignant.

“Absolutely,” says Warini. “My husband and I have been wanting to start a family for some time, but I keep postponing it, because I am not sure what the consequences will be.”

“This is terrible,” I say. “Unfair and unjust.”

DISDAIN

“Pregnancy is just one of the issues,” says Warini. “What about ‘That Time of the Month’? It’s not as if we asked for or enjoy having periods. Those three to five days can be horrible – cramps, stomach aches, headaches, debility. But most males somehow find this topic very difficult to understand in the workplace. We are accused of using our periods as an excuse to take a day off or to slack off.”

“I may be guilty of thinking like this sometimes,” I say, contritely.

“Most months when I have my period, I just want to take the strongest painkillers and stay in bed,” says Warini, “but I don’t. I come to work and do what I need to. All I want is for this to be recognised and appreciated. Tell me, Shesh, if you have a groin injury, is it likely that you are going to come to office?”

“Absolutely not,” I say, wincing at the very thought. “that will be the last thing on my mind!”

“We do this every month,” Warini stresses, “without fanfare, without unnecessary heroics. With what outcomes? Zero understanding, crude jokes, hurtful insinuations. Would men do this to their mothers or wives at home? I doubt it.”

“My wife would castrate me if I did anything of the sort,” I say, only half joking.

“And she would be right to do so!” laughs Warini, shaking her finger at me.

DISRESPECT

“Finally, here’s the curveball,” says Warini, “on the one hand, men look down or penalise pregnancy and periods; on the other hand, we are targets of sexual overtures. If a woman doesn’t dress up to the hilt, we are sloppy and don’t care about our job. If a woman pays careful attention to her appearance, we are trying too hard and using our gender to get ahead.”

“I have seen this so often,” I say, sadly.

“I am working in a ‘new economy’ company,” says Warini. “You would expect that things are different here. But, no. There is one colleague who comes and leans over my desk, nominally to ask me a question, but trying his best to peer down my blouse. There is the manager who ensures he squeezes past you at every opportunity. The Sales Head thinks he is God’s gift to women and makes passes at every woman under 50.”

“This is both terrible and shocking,” I say, “isn’t there a way to redress such issues?”

“There is, Shesh,” says Warini, “there is a grievance cell, but none of us bother with it. None of these indignities are as demeaning as outright harassment, and we have to work with these colleagues, so why rock the boat?”

“You women are amazingly courageous,” I say, with respect. “If I had to face so many inimical issues, I would run far away and never return.”

“That’s why I said what I did,” Warini says, calmly, looking me in the eye. “What women want is to be allowed to be a woman, without being discriminated against, judged or harassed. We want to do our work, earn respect and livelihood, and go home with a sense of fulfilment.”

“Is that too much to ask?”

DOING WHAT’S RIGHT

This is just one of a million similar stories of women in the workplace.

Did you know that in general –

Women are far less likely to feel they have an equal opportunity to grow?
Women are less happy at work than men?

We need to change this situation. What can we do?

Recognise that women and men are different and honour these differences
Empathise, rather than judge
Make respect a core value

We spend much of our lives in our workplaces. Help make them fair, level and equitable. Level the floors, fix the ladders and raise the ceilings for everyone…

If you want to transform your work environment, don’t just click ‘like’. Share your views, your criticisms, your comments and your disagreements. Let us start a movement that will shatter past practices and paradigms and lead the way to a better world.

Cheers,

Shesh.

(Singapore / 11 Feb 2020)

*****

#ceochronicles, #whatwomenwant #motivation #professionalwomen #whatinspiresme #career #genderawareness

What Women Want #4 : No Sticky Floors. No Broken Rungs. January 21st, 2020 by Shesh

#ceochronicles #radicaladvice #whatwomenwant #gender - No Sticky Floor. No Broken Rungs

“What we want is for our ladder to have no broken rungs,” says Tara.

Tara is an assistant marketing manager in an FMCG company. She and I are sitting in a Kopi Tiam at a food court near her office. It is 6:00 PM and the hot chocolate we are sipping is blissful.

“Have you read the latest research by McKinsey and LeanIn.org?” Tara asks. ”It is titled, ‘Women in the Workplace’ and was published about 2 months ago.”

“No, I’m sorry.” I say, “I haven’t.”

“It is very insightful and has explored new frontiers of thought,” says Tara, “and has discovered that the biggest contributor to the gender gap aren’t glass ceilings, but broken rungs!”

“Could you explain ‘broken rungs?’” I ask.

“Yes, this is how it goes. Basically, men and women start on similar career ladders in most developed countries – about 52% of fresh employees are men and 48% are women. So far, so good. But, within 5 years, things change.”

“How?” I ask, curiously.

“Men are promoted faster than women, which results in women holding just 38% of manager-level positions.”

“Wow,” I say, astonished, “from near #parity to a 1:2 split in 5 years!”

FLOORS, RUNGS & CEILINGS

“That’s just the beginning,” says Tara earnestly. “Thereafter, the number of women decreases at every subsequent level. So, even if, at senior levels, promotion rates improve for women, it has little meaning. Women can never catch up. Because there are simply too few women to advance.”

“What happens to the numbers as we go up further the ladder?” I ask.

“By the time we reach senior management, the C-Suite,” says Tara, “only 20% are women. And, on corporate Boards, less than 10%.”

“That is a serious rate of attrition!” I exclaim.

“Yes, and it is really sad,” says Tara. “You must have heard of the “Sticky Floor“. This phenomenon causes women to get stuck at the lowest levels of the corporate hierarchy. There are tons of research that shows that not only are women less likely to be promoted from entry-level jobs, but when they are promoted, they receive less pay than their male counterparts.”

“So many hurdles in a woman’s path!” I say, “Sticky Floors, Broken Rungs and Glass Ceilings.”

“Let me tell you a story,” says Tara, “Of Koyal, a friend of mine who works in another company, which I shall not name.”

ONCE, THERE WAS A LADDER…

“Koyal joined this company about 7 years ago,” Tara starts, “she was a brilliant student, aced her interviews, a real bright star. She joined as a Sales Engineer. She enjoyed her job, she loved the people, was learning at light speed. Every time we met for a coffee or a drink, she was full of energy and enthusiasm.”

“About two years in, a Sales Manager role came vacant,” continues Tara, “and Koyal was sure that the job was hers. She was leading in all metrics – revenues, customer acquisitions, customer satisfaction, margins – and she had no doubt. She put in her application and waited confidently.”

“One Monday morning, Koyal opened her e-mail at office. An announcement caught her eye. She opened it and saw that the role was given to another Sales Engineer, her batchmate from college who had joined at the same time she had. She was shocked, indeed devastated. This batchmate, George, was good, but nowhere close to her in performance or achievement.”

Tara smiled faintly. “Koyal was no shrinking violet. She grabbed the HR manager and marched into the Sales Director’s room. Why, she asked, had she been overlooked?”

“The Sales Director and the HR Manager were taken aback. They sat Koyal down and explained to her that they had done this for her good. You see, they said, the Sales Manager’s role requires much travel and late nights, and we didn’t feel right to impose these on a young lady.”

…WITH A BROKEN RUNG

I sat entranced, my mouth slightly agape.

“Koyal was shocked. But I never told you that I cannot travel, she said. I never told you that I cannot work late nights or entertain customers! The HR Manager and the Sales Director tried to calm her down. We are more experienced, they said, and we know that women don’t suit such roles and that it can affect your family life. You will understand and appreciate it only later.”

Tara shook her head sadly. “Koyal could not believe this. She appealed to the Sales Director. He agreed that they should have spoken to her first, but now, it was too late. The vacancy had been filled, and she would have to wait for the next one.”

“Koyal’s spirit broke that day. Today, five years have passed and Koyal is now only a Senior Sales Engineer. George is an Assistant General Manager. One misconception and the entire career path of a star performer was derailed…”

“This is so sad,” I say, quietly, “poor thing.”

“Yes, but what is really sad,” says Tara, “is that the HR Manager was a woman. She based her decision on outdated beliefs that women are needed at home and should not travel. Koyal still can’t get over that.”

“So, what should be done, Tara?” I ask, “How do we change this situation?”

“I have thought a lot about this, Shesh,” replies Tara, “and there are 3 steps we can and should take asap.”

1. STOP STEREOTYPING

“The first is to recognise that each person, woman or man, is different,” says Tara. “We cannot paint everyone of a gender or a religion or a community with the same brush. Just like there are some men who prefer not to travel or prefer keeping a low profile, there are women who would love to travel and entertain and lead meetings and initiatives.”

“Okay…” I say, unsurely, “and how do we do this?”

“We have to train hiring managers to remove unconscious bias,” says Tara, ‘many companies are already doing this, and we must make it a Human Capital Management standard across the world. It is proven that people who are trained in recognising bias are much better and fairer in their hiring. Finally, it also makes everyone more aware and more sensitive.”

“That is a great point, Tara!” I exclaim, “Not difficult, not very expensive and implementable immediately!”

2. MAKE EVALUATION CRITERIA OBJECTIVE

“Next, companies must have the right processes in place to prevent bias from creeping into hiring and reviews,” says Tara, “This means having clear evaluation criteria, which are easy to use and designed to gather objective, measurable input.”

“Fair enough,” I say.

“I believe it is much better to use rating scales than open-ended assessments,” continues Tara, “and very important that we evaluate candidates for the same role using the same criteria. Also, research shows that it can help to have a third party in the room when evaluators discuss candidates to encourage objectivity.”

“I agree,” I say.

3. SPONSOR & MENTOR

“Third,” says Tara, leaning forward, “companies must put formal sponsorship and mentoring programs in place. Sadly, Shesh, very few companies do this.”

“You are right” I say, “I have been saying this for quite some time. Mentoring can guide employees in areas that they would normally overlook. Sponsorship can open doors and show employees paths that may be hidden.”

“So few people understand this,” Tara nods, “and this is especially important for women, for introverts, for people who are less assertive.”

“Absolutely,” I say, “formal mentoring programs can make such a huge positive difference. And, sponsorship accelerates career advancement, and make employees feel a sense of engagement.”

“So there you are,” Tara says, “this is what women want – for men and women to stand on the same floor, climb the same ladder and live under the same ceiling.”

I say goodbye and leave the food court. While walking out, I feel a sense of guilt – I went through my career without facing any of the hurdles that millions of women that have had deal with. Where would I be if things had been different? Would I have achieved what I did, or would I be mourning a derailed career?

LEVELLING THE WORKPLACE FLOOR

This is just one of a million similar stories of women in the workplace.

Did you know that –

Women are far less likely to feel they have an equal opportunity to grow?
Women are less happy at work than men?

We need to change this situation. What can we do? Take Tara’s advice –

Recognise and remove unconscious bias
Implement robust, objective recruitment and evaluation systems
Set up sponsorship and mentoring programs

We spend much of our lives in our workplaces. Help make them fair and equitable. Level the floors, fix the ladders, and raise the ceilings for everyone…

Do you want to transform your work environment? Then, don’t just click ‘like’. Share your views, your criticisms, your comments and your disagreements. Let us start a movement that will shatter past practices and paradigms and lead the way to a better world.