CATEGORY:EQ and SQ

The Power Of Purpose

During the 1940s, Viktor E. Frankl, Austrian psychiatrist and author, was held prisoner in Nazi concentration camps. With all the agony and brutality, what kept Frankl from giving up his relentless fight for his life was purpose.

Dr. Frankl sought and found meaning in his struggle, and that gave him the power to survive unimaginable indignity and pain.

In his book, “Man’s Search for Meaning”, Dr. Frankl sums up his philosophy on how people were able to survive the camps, without losing the will to live.

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”

Why Is Purpose Necessary?

First, purpose gives us hope. And hope gives us well-being. Hope gives us an increased ability to cope with change and disruption, enhancing our resilience and increasing our happiness.

Second, purpose enhances our self-esteem. Our self-confidence increases. We feel a sense of competence and achievement, and an enhanced ability to deal with difficulties and challenges.

Third, purpose is closely linked to ‘flow’ — the state of intense absorption in which we forget our surroundings and ourselves. A strong sense of purpose leads to more frequent experiences of flow. Flow is a powerful source of well-being. The more flow we experience, the happier we feel. (Please see Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: Flow, the secret to happiness | TED Talk)

Fourth, purpose makes us less vulnerable to ‘psychological discord.’ This is the fundamental sense of unease we often experience, manifesting itself in boredom, anxiety, and depression. By focusing our attention and giving us a channel for our mental and emotional energies, purpose aligns thought, feeling and action, leading to a sense of ‘wholeness’.

Finally, having a purpose makes us less self-centered. We feel a part of something bigger, something outside ourselves, and this makes us less focused on our own worries and anxieties. So, our sense of well-being increases.

But, most of all, purpose gives us power.

Power over ourselves, our minds, our thoughts, our actions.

The power to aim for and to achieve more.

The power to contribute and create value.

Flashback # 1

She stood in her corner office. It was huge. Her desk was larger than most beds.

She walked to the wrap-around windows and gazed out at the cityscape. What an amazing view! She could see the faint outline of the hills far into the distance.

She had arrived. CEO of a billion-dollar group! Her lips curved into an involuntary smile.

Thank God for Subra, her mentor and boss from 15 years ago.

“Discover your purpose,” he had said.

“When you are clear about what drives you, about who you are, about what you really want, you will operate at full capacity, and you will achieve your potential,” he had reiterated.

“Once you know your purpose, you can align your performance with it, and you will become unstoppable,” he had advised.

So, she had done so. She had delved deep into herself and discovered her purpose.

“Build an engaged and happy workplace and inspire the motivated team to create success.”

She had lived this purpose for 15 years.

In doing so, she had found hope, optimism, happiness, well-being and untold joy.

Success followed her wherever she went.

Boards and bosses and teams wanted her.

Now, she stood on the pinnacle of success.

She looked at the wall at the poster with Napoleon Hill’s words,

“There is one quality that one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it.”

The Power Of Performance

Two grains were lying side by side on the fertile soil.

The first grain said: “I want to grow up! I want to put down roots deep into the ground and sprout. And I dream to blossom and proclaim the coming of spring. I want to feel the warm rays of sun and the dew drops on my petals!”

This grain grew up and became a beautiful flower.

The second grain said: “I’m afraid. If I put down my roots into the ground, I don’t know what they will face there. If I will grow tender stems, they can be damaged by wind. And if I have flowers, they may be eaten by animals. So, I better wait for a safer time.”

As the second grain waited, a chicken that passed by pecked at and ate it.

Successful people who have attained amazing goals are not stronger, more intelligent or more fearless than you. The only difference is their self-belief and their sustained efforts in the direction of their dreams.

Why Is Performance Critical?

Nobody succeeds without hard work. Nothing spectacular comes without it. Getting organised is hard work. Setting goals, making plans to achieve them, and staying on track is hard work.

There’s only one way to the top: Performance.

Lasting success can only be achieved if you put in the work.

Stephen King once said “Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.”

Henry Ford similarly said, “The harder you work, the luckier you get!”

Don’t wish it were easier. Work harder.

Hard work is challenging, painful and uncomfortable. But it is the only way to the top. In fact, the key to success is to learn to enjoy challenging work and to enjoy working hard at it.

Your idols and heroes worked hard and made careful choices before they reaped the rewards of success. They performed to their full capacity.

Thomas Edison failed 10,000 times while he was working on the light bulb and yet he never dreamed of giving up – this is the hard work and the determination that marks a true success.

Picasso worked ceaselessly through his long lifetime. The total number of artworks he produced has been estimated at 50,000, comprising 1,885 paintings; 1,228 sculptures; 2,880 ceramics, roughly 12,000 drawings, many thousands of prints, and numerous tapestries and rugs.

The greater your capacity for hard work, the more rewards fall within your grasp. If you have chosen a significant purpose for your life, it is going to require hard work to get there.

If getting to the top was easy, it wouldn’t be rare.

The importance of performance is a timeless truth. Rather than fight it, run with it and greatness and extraordinary success will be yours.

Flashback # 2

She walked to the 12-seater conference table on the far side of her new office. She ran her fingers against the polished mahogany.

How many tables, she thought. How many meetings and conferences and discussions.

The first few years after she discovered her purpose were a whirlwind of learning and doing and travelling and working, often starting  as the sun rose and ending much after it set.

How much joy from each successful deal, each new customer acquired, each plan completed on time.

What an amazing, fun 15 years it has been, she thought.

She looked at the other poster behind her desk, recalling when she first read Oprah Winfrey’s words, reveling in their wisdom,

“The big secret in success is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you are willing to work.”

Purpose + Performance = Power

When clear purpose combines with focused performance, you become unstoppable.

Purpose shows you who you are and what you want. Performance plays to your strengths and achieves your goals.

Together, they give you the power to live an unlimited life.

Together, they give you the power to lead an ‘intentional life’ rather than a ‘default life’.

A life that you control. A life that you wish for.

And when you lead an intentional life, you inspire and motivate. You become a natural leader, one who is heeded, heard and followed.

Your power extends beyond yourself to the world around you. You influence and mould others. You envision and drive change.

Flashback # 3

She picked up her bag and walked to the door of her office.

I shouldn’t be late today, she thought.

She was expected at the Global Diversity Forum. She was the Guest of Honor tonight.

Time to make a difference, she thought.

Time to put my power to work.

She strode confidently to her car, as her chauffeur opened the door for her.

She smiled at him and thanked him.

Time to change the world…

The Final Goodbye

Thank you for reading my articles.

Thank you for your likes, your shares, your responses, your discussions.

It has been an amazing ride.

But the time has come to say goodbye.

As Douglas Adams wrote in “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”,

“The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything is 42.”

Thus, with this 42^nd article, you have the answer.

Discover your purpose.

Perform with everything you have.

Generate the power you need to live the life you want.

This is the answer to all your questions. On happiness. About success. On satisfaction. About wealth.

Purpose + Performance = Power.

****

Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 30 December 2020.

“Don’t be afraid to fail. Be afraid not to try!”

Failure hurts. It demoralizes. It humbles.

Even so, failure is a critical and important part of life.

In fact, failure is necessary.

I have failed more times than I can count.

Yes. I have failed small. I have failed big. And I have failed spectacularly.

I have not enjoyed failing. If anything, I have hated it when it was happening. I cursed life, railed at God, asked the eternal question, “WHY ME?”

But, as I have progressed, I have realized that failure, through its life-altering lessons, gradually moulded me into a stronger, more capable, better person.

Failure is life’s best teacher. It teaches us humility, and change, and innovation, and resilience.

Without failure, I know I would have less compassion, empathy and kindness. Without failure, I know that I would have achieved much less than what I have today.

I Don’t Believe You!

“That’s a load of bull! I don’t think failure is necessary! Can you name any successful people who have failed?”

I can name hundreds. Here are some people who you know, like and respect –

Oprah Winfrey – abused child, teenage unwed mother, fired for being ‘unfit for television’.

Jack Ma – failed primary school twice, failed middle school three times, failed university entry exam thrice, rejected by the police force, rejected by KFC, rejected by Harvard ten times.

Walt Disney – fired from his job at a newspaper, first go at business ending in bankruptcy.

Thomas Edison – told by his teachers that “he was too stupid to learn anything”, fired from first two jobs, failed in developing the light bulb more than 2,000 times.

J K Rowling – jobless, divorced, penniless, with a dependent child, suffered through bouts of depression, living on welfare checks, Harry Potter script rejected 12 times.

Enough? Or shall I go on?

“Enough. I see what you mean. But why is failure ‘necessary’?”

Why Failure Is Necessary!

The simple answer is,

If you go through life without failing at anything, then you are not really living a life at all!

Taking risks and falling down makes us into who we are.

Take the example of a baby. When a baby is first learning to walk, she will fall down many times. If you feel bad that she is failing and over-protect her and prevent her from trying, she will never walk.

Take the example of a tennis player. He will play game after game. He will lose often, sometimes terribly. If you feel bad that he is failing and tell him not to play so much, he will never build up to be a champion.

And finally, take the example of yourself trying to cook a new dish. It is likely that you will fail the first time. And the second. Even perhaps the third. If you give up and stop, you will never make a dish that makes people go, “WOW!”

Failure is the development of mental and spiritual muscle. It strengthens us, it makes us more resilient. Failure gives us the drive and the reason to succeed.

Here are five reasons why failure is necessary for all of us –

Failure Gives Us Valuable Experience

The most important thing we gain from failure is experience.

What happens when we fail? When we go through something and can walk away with firsthand experience, it helps us to develop a deeper understanding for life.

The experience of failing alters our mindset. It makes us reflect on the real nature of things and their importance in our lives, transforming and improving our future selves.

[My wife, Radhika, wanted to be able to make tasty egg-free cakes for her many clients who could not eat regular cakes for dietary or religious reasons.

She experimented for many months. In the beginning, the cakes would not rise, or taste terrible. Each failure hurt her, but also taught her something new. She built the next cake on the learnings from the previous one. Finally, she mastered the art.

Today, her egg-free cakes are said to be, ”the best cakes we have ever tasted!”]

Failure Endows Us With Knowledge

Failure brings us important firsthand knowledge.

This knowledge forms the stepping stones for our future. By harnessing what we learn from failure, we can and will overcome that very same failure.

[When I was in school, I was terrible at my second language, Hindi. I would fail again and again – mainly because I did not put in enough effort.

As I came closer to my School Leaving Examination, I realized that if I failed, I would not be able to enter college. I began reviewing everything I had learnt from my failures. Soon, I recognised a pattern of mistakes. I went to a friend who was very good at Hindi, and asked him to show me how to correct this. He helped me understand the concepts that were necessary.

Using this knowledge, I was able to not only pass the exam, but get a first class!]

Failure Exposes Our Weaknesses

Everyone has weaknesses. Failure leads to introspection, which then leads to exposing our weaknesses. Once we know what our weaknesses are, we can turn them into strengths.

Thus, failure actually helps us evolve and become stronger, preparing ourselves for the challenges yet to come.

[When I was about 30, I attended quite a few job interviews and was rejected in all of them.

This really hurt, especially because I thought I was a good fit, and did not know why I was being rejected. I approached my mentor for help. She conducted 2 ‘mock interviews’ with me, and then shared her findings. I realized that I was making so many mistakes. I took these to heart and corrected them.

The very next interview I had, the company offered me the job immediately!]

Failure Pushes Us To Grow

When we fail, we grow and mature as human beings.

We seek deeper meaning and understanding about ourselves and about life. Failure makes us pause and reflect. Failure puts things into perspective.

Life is designed for us to grow and improve. Growth is a fundamental part of us. Failure prevents us from complacency and stagnation, and pushes us to seek new avenues, new approaches, new starts.

[My friend, Vijay, believed that he was an excellent technical manager. He stopped reading or learning, feeling that he ‘knew it all’.

One day, one of his ships had a serious engine problem. The Chief engineer contacted him and asked him for help. Vijay did everything he could, but was not able to solve the problem. The company lost thousands of dollars. Desperate, Vijay reached out to various colleagues and contemporaries. A young superintendent replied, giving him a possible approach. Vijay tried it our and it worked.

From that day onward, he stopped feeling complacent. He ensured that he subscribed to technical updates and attended technical forums, knowing that he did not, actually, ‘know it all’.]

Failure Builds Resilience

Failing helps us build resilience. The more we fail, the more resilient we become.

To succeed, we must know resilience. Without resilience, every stumble or fall will cause us to lose hope, to not try again, to give up. And by doing so, fail much harder and more painfully than ever.

Resilience helps us succeed by building the right expectations, thus setting the gameboard in our favour.

[There is no better example of resilience than US President Abraham Lincoln.

He failed in business at age 21; he was defeated in a legislative race at age 22. He failed again in business at age 24. Then, Lincoln overcame the death of his sweetheart at age 26 and had a nervous breakdown at age 27. He lost two congressional races at ages 34 and 36, and then the senatorial race at age 45.

He never gave up, never quit, learned from each failure, became stronger, and finally, became President of USA at the age of 52.]

Failure Is The Foundation Of Success

Failure forces you to tune in to what you truly want and to who you really are.

We need to embrace failure and see it as a stepping-stone on the way to success.

Sadly, society tends to celebrate successes rather than highlighting the epic journeys towards success that are filled with trials, setbacks, and failures.

Too often we buy into what society says. When we do that, we limit ourselves, and we impede our ability to make big things happen.

Failure is temporary. When something goes wrong, we need to learn to look for the greater message of the experience and expect it to, eventually, turn out for the good.

Failing means you are actually active, doing something, moving forward.

“It is impossible to live without failing, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.” – J.K. Rowling

***

Can you recall a failure which taught you lessons that shaped you? Please could you share for others to learn from?

Do send your inputs to me, either as a comment or as a PM.

Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 08 December 2020.

Post Script :

1. For other interesting CEO Chronicles click here.
2. Follow me so that you don’t miss the next issue of CEO Chronicles.

#BillionDollarLearnings #radicaladvice #ceochronicles #purpose #mentoring #careers #career #careeradvice #careerguidance #bestadvice #personaldevelopment

“I Am Shy. An Introvert.”

“I am shy,” said Jazen.

“Basically, I am an introvert. I don’t feel comfortable meeting new people. In fact, in my school and college days, I had very few friends. Mostly, I was invisible!”

“Now, you are telling me that just talent and hard work are not enough.” Jazen continued.

“And that, if I don’t network, I will be left behind, passed over and not achieve my aspirations.”

“What should I do?”

My heart went out to Jazen. I know exactly how he felt. I had met so many young professionals like him – sincere, hard-working, passionate – but aloof and shy and ‘invisible’.

How frustrating it was for them to see less-capable colleagues move ahead because they were more outgoing and confident and assertive!

“May I tell you a story, Jazen?” I asked.

“Yes, go ahead,” Jazen said, as he sat forward in his chair.

The Girl Nobody Knew

This story is about a young lady. Let us call her Rupa.

Throughout school and college, Rupa was the “shy girl.” The girl who nobody knew. Even her teachers, sometimes, would struggle to remember her name.

Rupa wondered why it was so hard for her to make friends and enjoy social events. But, as the years passed, she became so used to being known as “shy”, that she gradually accepted it as part of her identity.

In her final year of college, a counsellor administered a psychometric test to Rupa. As they went through the results of the test, she had a ‘Eureka’ moment. She was an Introvert!

Over the next few days,

Rupa read everything she could about personality types. She realized that she was not alone – that nearly half the population shared some or all characteristics of introversion.

Rupa learnt that there are many benefits from being an introvert – the ability to listen, the ability to think ahead and plan, the capability to reflect and review, the inclination to view the world rationally and calmly.

She also learnt that the corporate world is not kind to an introvert. Because it is hard to be open, difficult to make small talk, painful to establish rapport with new people, she realized that she was at a disadvantage when it came to attending networking events and building new relationships, which are crucial elements of employment and employability.

While this was discouraging, Rupa squared her shoulders. Now she knew. She knew who she was, and what strengths this gave her, and what weaknesses she had to overcome.

In her usual thoughtful way, she listed out steps that she could take to overcome this ‘disadvantage’ and turn it into an asset.

Step One – Shy People Can Plan

First, Rupa cast her mind back to recalling all the interactions that she had witnessed – between her classmates, her brother’s friends, even her parents.

She listed out the normal topics of conversation –

• The weather
• Family
• Mutual friends
• Common topics such as movies, books, current affairs, clothes, celebrities, etc.

She then listed out two things more –

• A list of questions she could ask, to maintain a conversation
• A narrative that she could use, without diffidence, if she was asked any questions or was asked to share something about herself

On completing this exercise, she decided to test it with two of her classmates who were outgoing and had many ‘friends’. She felt nervous and worried but gathered the courage.

The next day,

She reached out to the first classmate and then the second and put her plan in action. She started the conversation and then asked a few questions. Soon, all she had to do was listen! In both cases, the classmates talked and talked and talked. And Rupa listened and nodded and assented.

Within a week, both the classmates were seeking Rupa out. They loved that she was such a good listener, and that they could talk to her about anything.

“You are such a good conversationalist,” said one classmate, not realizing that Rupa barely said more than 10 words during the whole time!

This exercise gave Rupa confidence. Even better, over time, the two classmates then introduced Rupa to their friends, thus expanding her network without her seeking it!

Delighted, Rupa moved to the next step.

Step Two – Shy People Can Empathize

Rupa had already realized that she was not the only introvert. Many of her classmates were, too!

She also realized that she felt more comfortable talking to other quiet or mild people.

So, Rupa drew on her reserves of empathy.

Instead of being scared of starting a conversation, she focused on how she could help other introverts by interacting with them. After all, who could empathize better with an introvert than another introvert?

Again, she chose two classmates.

Over the next week,

Rupa reached out to them in her gentle and unassuming way. She did not push. She let it be known that she, too, was shy, but was available to talk.

It was slow going, but step by step both her introvert classmates opened up to Rupa. Over the course of the next 3 weeks, she learnt about their amazing talents, their achievements, their lives. She felt so good!

“We’ve been together for so many years, and never known one another!” she thought.

At the end of the third week, one of the classmates thanked Rupa. “I am so glad that you reached out to me,” she said, “I have never had real friends before…”

Rupa was on a high! She moved to the third step.

STEP 3 – Shy People Can ‘Socialize’

Rupa had avoided social networks.

Yes, she had a Facebook account and a LinkedIn account, but they were mostly dormant.

She realized that she had not understood the power of these online networks. Now, she recognized that such networks were good for an introvert – that people like her could nurture and build relationships without having to take the stress of face to face interactions all the time.

The next few days,

Rupa revived her online networks and re-connected with her few connections.

Gradually, she started adding one or two thoughtfully, evaluating each to ensure that she picked people who she could add value to, and she could gain learning from. She tentatively started writing a few of her thoughts as posts and articles on LinkedIn and was delighted to see many readers liking and commenting on them. This encouraged her to extend her writings to Facebook, and to open a Twitter account.

In a few months, Rupa had a decent sized online network, and had even developed some of her connections into friends, with whom she would chat one-on-one. Two of her connections had even reached out to her asking if Rupa would like to consider a position in their companies.

Rupa, the introvert, had learnt how to network!

Introverts Do Not Need To Be Invisible

“So, what do you think?” I asked Jazen, sipping on some water.

His eyes shone.

“Thank you for sharing this amazing story,” he exclaimed. “Did you know Rupa personally?”

“Yes, I did,” I said, “She was a member of my team, but much later.”

“Where is she today?” he asked.

“Oh, Rupa is now the General Manager – Operations with a large insurance company,” I answered.

“Do you know of other introverts who have done well?” Jazen continued.

“Dozens. Hundreds, probably,” I said, smiling, “ and most of them very successful!”

“Wow!” he said, and sat back. His eyes continued to shine.

A Chance Meeting

Jazen and I kept in touch regularly. 8 months later, we had the opportunity to meet at an industry conference. We shook hands happily, and then agreed to catch-up for coffee during the first break.

“So, I hear things are going well?” I asked.

“Very well!” said Jazen. He seemed much more confident than when we had last met. “As I have informed you, I am now managing a small team, and we are building some amazing apps.”

“And how’s the networking going?” I asked, smiling.

“Rupa’s story was a turning point in my life, Shesh,” Jazen said, with seriousness. “In the last few months, I have followed the learnings from her story and life has changed so much, for the better!”

“I am so glad,” I said, smiling with delight.

“And not just for me,” he continued. “I am now passing on these learnings to other introverts, and each of them is reverting to me saying how things are improving and how they are doing so much better.”

“Can you please thank Rupa for me?” he asked. “I owe her so much!”

“I will,” I promised, “and perhaps someday, you could both meet?”

“Oh, that would be wonderful! I look forward to meeting her!” said the introvert.

****

[Note : This is part 3 of a three-part series on Networking]

Does this article inspire you to take steps towards enhancing your networking skills?  Take the first step today.  Make a commitment.  Tell me a ‘yes’. 

In three months, let us revisit this article and check on your progress. 

Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 20 October 2020.

Post Script :

1. For other interesting CEO Chronicles click here.
2. Follow me so that you don’t miss the next issue of CEO Chronicles.

#BillionDollarLearnings #radicaladvice #ceochronicles #purpose #mentoring #careers #career #careeradvice #careerguidance #bestadvice #personaldevelopment

I Was Never Taught How To Network.

No one taught me how to network. In fact, when I was young, I was told that networking was ‘sucking up’.

I was told that it was not for smart and capable people, but only for weak fools who needed to survive on the whims of others.

Just like much of the advice I was given when I was young, IT WAS WRONG!

But I was foolish. So I followed the advice I was given.

I was also arrogant. I believed that I did not need others.

“My work will speak for itself”, I thought.

“My outstanding performance will make me stand apart and visible”, I believed.

“Networks are for suck-ups”, I consoled myself. “I can do this on my own!”

But, even foolish and arrogant people change over time.

As I saw others progressing faster, as I noticed colleagues being chosen, as I slid back in the hierarchy of life, I realized that just talent and hard work are not enough.

I needed to do more.I needed to do something different.

So, I reached out to my mentor.

You Are Effective, But He Is Successful

“Okay, Shesh,” she said, after she had listened patiently to me. “Let me ask some questions.”

“You said that you are efficient, hardworking and always deliver. I have known you for a while and I agree. But, your management promoted Ronald. Let us try and figure out why.”

“Okay,” I said reluctantly. I was not keen on talking about Ronald. We had joined the company at the same time, and he was now two levels ahead of me.

“Is Ronald efficient, too?”

“I guess so,” I muttered.

“Does he work as hard as you?”

“No!” I burst out. “He never stays late, he goes out to lunch with our colleagues, he rarely comes in on weekends!”

“Does he deliver his results?”

“Yes,” I said, morosely.

“So, how does he do this? He is efficient, he delivers results, but he seems to work much less.”

“I don’t know,” I muttered, looking down.

“Do you think you can find out?” my mentor asked, kindly. “May be spent the next 2-3 weeks observing Ronald and seeing what he does differently?’

She saw me squirming. “I think it will be very helpful, Shesh,” she said, still kindly, but with much more authority.

I agreed.

Give, And You Shall Get

I did not enjoy the next 3 weeks.

Not only did I shadow Ronald, I also saw that he was having a wonderful time.

Ronald knew how to network. He would rarely sit at his desk. He moved around the office leaning against other’s desks, talking and laughing. At times, he would pull up a chair and sit for longer, listening and nodding.

And when he was at his desk, a stream of colleagues would come by and chat and laugh and even flirt!

One day he went to lunch with the HR team. The next, he brought in a couple of burgers which he shared with the CFO in his office. On Friday, he bought 12 donuts, kept in on his table and shouted, “First come, first served!” and stepped away from the stampede.

One Monday, he asked me out for lunch. The cheek!

“Sorry,” I said, “I am busy, I have to complete the monthly RFQ.”

“Come on, Shesh,” Ronald said, “there’s always time for work. There’s this new Indian restaurant I am dying to try out. Be a pal!”

But I was firm, and refused. Why did I feel so terrible?

In the third week, I asked some of the members of my team what they thought of Ronald.

“Oh, he’s so wonderful,” said Anna, “he lights up the room!”

“Ronald? Such a lovely guy!” said Yu Jian. “Always willing to help, even when he is really busy!”

“You know, he got my son the Pokemon set when he returned from Bangkok!” gushed Minnie.

Honestly, I was getting quite tired of Ronald. At least the three weeks were coming to an end.

Ask, And Will You Receive?

I was back at my mentor’s place. I had just recited (with the help of my notes) everything I had learned about Ronald.

She sat back and smiled. It was not a nice smile. It was the smile of an executioner before he swung the axe.

“Thank you, Shesh,” she said. “It mustn’t have been easy.”

I grunted.

“I have a question. Let us say that you and Ronald are each given a big project. A project that neither of you can complete just by using your own team. Clear so far?”

I nodded.

“Both of you are given the same timeline, and it is tight.”

“Which of you, do you think will get the support from your colleagues to help finish this project, in full, on time?”

My mouth opened to speak, and then shut. I looked at her. She was looking back at me, a tiny smile on her face. She waited.

It took me more than a minute to squeeze out the words. “Ronald will.” I said.

“What about you?”

“Well, some of them will help…” I started. “A few of them may help…”

I shut my mouth and pondered. “May be one or two of them may help me,” I said, quietly.

“What do you think makes your colleagues want to help Ronald, but not you?” she asked, gently.

He Knows How To Network.

“They like him. They consider him a friend,” I answered. “He does things for them. Listens to them. Buys stuff. Donuts and pizzas. He talks to everyone all the time.”

“Would you say he invests in them?” she asked.

“Hmmm, yes, he does.” I replied.

“Would you say he gives a lot to them,” she asked again.

“Yes, he does.” I said.

“Does he do this with an agenda, you think?” she continued, “some kind of sinister purpose?”

I smiled. “No,” I said, “Ronald is actually a nice guy. He cares about the people around him.”

“Thank you, Shesh,” my mentor said. “Even when you hate it, you are honest. That is such a refreshing quality!”

Your Network Is Your Net Worth

My mentor sat forward.

“I know your views on networks, Shesh,” she said, seriously. “I know that you think they are facile and unjust and for weaklings.”

“You are wrong. I have wanted to say this before, but the time was not right. You would have ignored me. Now, you are seeing the difference between two similar capabilities, but with one multiplied by the factor of networking, and the outcomes thereof.”

“You are at the cusp of understanding how important it is to be seen, known, liked and trusted. A network is like a stage. Without one, you are part of the dark, unknown and unseen. With one, you are in the spotlight, and you are visible to the world who will yearn to see you succeed.”

I looked at her and nodded. She was right. I had spent so many years of my career not recognizing this elemental truth.

“From next week, I will teach you the art and science of networking. There are five main approaches that you will need to understand and master. Are you ready to do so?”

I nodded again. “Yes, I am,” I said.

She got up to see me to the door.

“I will leave you with this African proverb, Shesh,” she said, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go with others.”

Time To Build An Springboard.

As I drove home, I recapped what I had learnt over the past three weeks.

1. Being effective is necessary, but not sufficient.
2. Without a network, I have no leverage.
3. A network is a force multiplier. A strong network would allow me to contribute and achieve so much more.
4. I have come as far as I can, alone. To go further, I need the support and goodwill of people.

I had wasted so much time. Enough. I was ready to expand my horizons.

****

[Note : This article is part 1 of a three part series on Networking. Today we discussed WHY. The next two articles will discuss the HOW and WHEN of Networking.]

Do send your inputs to me, either as a comment or as a PM.

Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 22 September 2020.

Post Script :

1. For other interesting CEO Chronicles click here.
2. Follow me so that you don’t miss the next issue of CEO Chronicles.

#BillionDollarLearnings #radicaladvice #ceochronicles #purpose #mentoring #careers #career #careeradvice #careerguidance #bestadvice #personaldevelopment

To challenge time and win, we need to master Three Principles.

Time is My Enemy!

“I am sorry, my dear, Daddy cannot come and watch you submit your homework online,  Daddy is very busy with video calls…

“My apologies for the delay in submitting the report, sir; I had too much on my plate and just could not find the time…”

“Sorry, darling, we will need to cancel our vacation this year. I am snowed under, I don’t even have the time to breathe…”

How often have we said or heard similar words! At so many junctures in life, we have felt that time is our enemy, preventing us from achieving our diverse goals. How often have we felt that time is like fine sand – and the more we try to hold on to it, the more it slips away…

So, How Do We Win Against Time?

Time is our only truly finite resource: we may gain any amount of wealth, or success, or employees, or friends – but each of us gets 24 hours in a day, and a single lifetime’s worth of time. Because time seems limited, it is natural to feel that time is an enemy out to get us.

But this isn’t true. Time fails us because we fail in our approach to time.

We need to change our approach and learn the Three Principles that will allow us to challenge time and win.

The ‘But’ Conundrum

A few years ago, my mentor changed my whole attitude about time with one simple exercise.

He wrote, “I want to go to the beach but I have to work,” on the blackboard, illustrating a classic time squeeze conundrum.

“Is this true?” he asked me. “Let’s explore.”

Below “I want to go to the beach” he wrote: “I don’t want to go to the beach.”

And below “I have to work” he wrote: “I don’t have to work.”

“Now let’s remove the lies,” he said. “Is it true that I don’t want to go the beach? No.” And he crossed out I don’t want to go to the beach.

“Is it true that I don’t have to work? No.” And he crossed out I don’t have to work.

“There’s one more lie,” he said. “The third lie is ‘but.'”

He crossed out that single word, and with it my whole misunderstanding of time and choices.

“But” is about struggling with something that you don’t want.

However, if you like your job and you like the beach then you’re not struggling, you’re choosing.

“I want to go to the beach and I have to work.”

Getting rid of the “but” is the best way to start making time your friend.

Principle # 1 : Change The Narrative

Humans live by the calendar and the clock. We learn early that we must be on time or bad things will happen. Be late to pay your bills and you are penalised. Be late to finish your work and you lose that promotion.

A common phrase we use (and hear being used) is, “Life is too short to…”, implying that time is an opponent to be outraced.

But this narrative is wrong! It is because of the abundance of time and life that we want to seek change and transformation. Life is too long not to make the best of it!

When you have a problem that needs fixing, imagine what your life would be like if you delayed taking action to fix it.

See yourself a year from now with this problem still hanging around. What impact has it had on you? How has it hurt your relationships? What is it doing to you at work? What cost have you paid to your health?

Now take it out to five years. What have you lost? How much have you suffered? What have the people close to you been forced to pay?

When we consider the impact that leaving something unresolved for a long period of time can cause us, we realize the value of taking action in this moment. Time isn’t out to hurt us here. It is giving us an opportunity. And time is there for us, with us, waiting for you to take charge and choose.

The ‘Axe’ Conundrum

Once upon a time, a strong woodcutter got a job with a timber merchant. The pay was really good. The woodcutter was determined to do his best.

His boss gave him an axe and showed him the area where he supposed to work.

The first day, the woodcutter brought down 18 trees.

“Congratulations,” the boss said. “Keep up the great work!”

Very motivated, the woodcutter tried even harder the next day, but he could only cut 15 trees.

The third day he tried even harder, and worked for even longer hours but he could only bring down 10 trees.

The woodcutter was despondent. “However hard or long I work, I am not able to achieve my goal!”

He went to the boss and apologised, saying that he could not understand what was going on.

“When was the last time you sharpened your axe?” the boss asked.

“Sharpen? I had no time to sharpen my axe,” replied the woodcutter, “I have been very busy trying to cut trees…”

Principle # 2 : Focus Your Energy

The secret to lasting success is not managing time or working harder – it is about managing yourself, specifically your focus and energy.

We all have the same 24 hours every day. The main reason why some people achieve more in any given day than most people do in a month, is not because they manage time better – it is because they focus their energies better.

Every human is a storehouse of different forms of energy – physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. Each of these energies have their own rhythms and peaks and troughs. Each of these energies is renewable, and keeps getting sharpened, like an axe.

Instead of scheduling around time, we need to plan around our energy and willpower levels. By matching the times of the day we have the most energy with our most important tasks, we can significantly improve what we achieve.

As a rule, schedule your most important creative tasks at some point in the early hours of waking up when you have the most energy.

On the other hand, schedule your low creative tasks – emails, social media, phone calls – in the latter part of the day when your energy and willpower is lowest.

Here’s a quick example of scheduling around your energy levels –

• Creative energy (best between 4:00 -11:00 AM)
• Social energy (best between 6:00 -11:00 PM)
• Communication energy (phone calls, email, texts) (best between 2:00 – 5:00 PM)
• Learning energy (any time except afternoon)

Managing ourselves and scheduling around energy, rather than time, allows us to sustain and enhance our productivity and achievement.

One of Tony Robbins’ most memorable lines is, “Where focus goes, energy flows.”

The ‘Bucket’ Conundrum

The Professor stood at the head of the class. On his desk were a bag of sand, a bag of pebbles, some big rocks and bucket. He asked for a volunteer to put all three grades of stone into the bucket. A student stepped up to carry out the task, starting with the sand, then the pebbles, then the rocks. Sadly, the rocks do not all fit in the bucket.

The Professor then emptied out the bucket, separating the sand, pebbles and rocks on the desk once again.

“This is an analogy to time management,” he said. “If you’d have put the rocks in first, then the pebbles, then the sand, all three would have fit. By completing your most critical tasks first, you leave room to complete the less important tasks, and then your least critical ones. In tackling your least tasks first, you spend so much time on them that you leave yourself unable to complete the higher priority tasks satisfactorily. Let me show you..”

The Professor re-filled the bucket, big rocks first, then pebbles, then sand, shaking the bucket between each so that everything fits.

“There is always time,” said the Professor, “It is how we use it that makes the difference between success and failure.

Principle # 3 : Plan and Prioritize

Very often, we treat time as an unlimited resource. We hedge. And we procrastinate. We will ‘do it soon’, or ‘tomorrow’, or ‘as soon as I can’.

Time, like health, wellness and money, needs to be planned. For example, if you take a few minutes on Sunday to create a plan for your whole week, you will walk into work on Monday morning with a plan that will help you focus on priorities.

Schedule low-priority tasks for Mondays and other low-energy times. Complete creative and demanding tasks on Tuesday and Wednesday. Schedule meetings for Thursday, when your team’s energy starts to decline. Use your Fridays for planning and networking. Use the first 30 minutes of your day to create a daily to-do list that suits your weekly plan.

Prioritize the big tasks – place the rocks in the bucket first. Once you complete these, you will feel a sense of well-being that will allow you to race through the others.

Planning gives you visibility. Prioritizing gives you control.

As Dale Carnegie said long ago, “An hour of planning can save you 10 hours of doing.”

Time To Win

It is time to take control.

It is time to challenge time and win, with these Three Principles:

1. Change the narrative. Move from ‘struggle’ to ‘choice’
2. Focus your energy. Sharpen the axe, don’t swing it harder
3. Plan and prioritize. Take charge of the future.

If you master these Three Principles, you win the battle with time…

****

Do send your inputs to me, either as a comment or as a PM.

Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 25 August 2020.

Post Script :

1. For other interesting CEO Chronicles click here.
2. Follow me so that you don’t miss the next issue of CEO Chronicles.

#BillionDollarLearnings #radicaladvice #ceochronicles #purpose #mentoring #careers #career #focus #success #growth

To survive a crisis and win, we need to master the “Five Weapons To Deal With The Post-Pandemic World”.

Rajat and Lynn knew about the Five Weapons.

Rajat ignored them.

Lynn honed them.

Storm On The Horizon

News item in September 2019 : Oil prices dip below US$ 40 per barrel

News item in December 2019 : IEA predicts flattening of global energy demand

Viral blogpost in December 2019 : China doctor arrested for posting video on ‘runaway virus’

News item in January 2020 : Wuhan locked down; virus rampages across region

News item in February 2020 : Thousands infected in Italy; virus sweeping into Europe

Having Sight, But No Vision

Rajat Chandra was a lucky man.

He had had a comfortable career so far. In his mid-thirties, Rajat was the Operations Manager in a reputed Maritime Services group headquartered in Singapore. He had just completed 5 years in the company, and was well thought off, by his management and his team-mates.

Rajat was good at his job, and knew enough to deliver steady outcomes. He was happy – he felt secure and stable.

A few months before, in November, the Managing Director nominated middle managers in Rajat’s company to attend a two day training seminar on career management. Run by two former CEOs, who were now professional coaches, the seminar addressed various career issues and concerns. One of the sessions was on the Five Weapons professionals needed to survive a crisis and thrive in the corporate world.

The session described and discussed the Five Weapons –

1. Situational Awareness
2. Flexibility & Mobility
3. Networking
4. Strategy & Planning
5. Continuous Learning

Rajat had enjoyed the seminar. He found the ‘Five Weapons’ session stimulating and fun, and the examples, both from historical and from current times, interesting.

But he also felt that he did not really need these weapons. The combination of security and stability had given birth to new feeling – complacency.

Famous Last Words

“Why would I need weapons?” Rajat thought. He was part of a good company, where the leadership took care of and invested in the employees. And, he was doing well, and had been promoted a year ago, and was hoping for another promotion within the next couple of years. He got along with his boss, and his numbers were looking good.

“These Five Weapons are more for executives and managers who are either in companies not doing well, or who are not doing so well themselves,” Rajat thought. In fact, he had shared this opinion with one of his colleagues  (and a good friend) Lynn Cheng.

“I don’t agree,” Lynn had replied, after hearing Rajat out. “I think all of us need to master these weapons. We have no control over the external environment, but we can prepare ourselves for the worst case scenario so that we can survive a crisis.”

Rajat had laughed. “Lynn, what worst case scenario? You know I read about global economics and finance all the time – the world is doing well, in fact never better! Why would I spend time mastering things I am never going to use?”

Lynn was insistent. “No, Rajat, those two CEOs were not fools. They did not sacrifice one-fourth of the seminar to focus on things that we would not need. Did you know that this is a newly incorporated session? They evidently see something we don’t.”

“No way,” Rajat scoffed, “We are doing great, and nothing is going to change that!”

Prepare For The Unexpected

Lynn Cheng had also had a nice life so far.

She was 31 years old and was Deputy HR Manager. She had been with the company for a little longer than Rajat. Lynn had started as an HR Officer, and had been promoted thrice in six years. She was that rare HR professional – trusted and liked by her colleagues.

Lynn was different from Rajat in one critical aspect. She knew that security and stability could be unpredictable and transient.

Lynn was completely energized by the career management seminar. Every session spoke to her, resonating with her own thoughts and opinions.

When she was younger, her father once quoted the then CEO of Intel, Andy Grove, to her :

“Success breeds Complacency. Complacency breeds Failure. Only the paranoid survive.”

The day after the seminar, Lynn started her journey to mastering the Five Weapons.

The Warrior’s Path

She first tackled Situational Awareness.

Lynn broke it into three parts – her company, her market and the general environment.

She read as much as could find about her company’s history, growth and performance. What she couldn’t find, she asked of her boss and colleagues. She spent some time with the CFO and understood the financial issues and stresses that the company was facing.

Lynn subscribed to various domain newsletters on the maritime sector. As she pored through these, she realized that the maritime industry was in bad shape. Hundreds of companies had closed down in the past few years, and even the remaining ones were financially teetering.

Then, she started browsing the internet on global issues – the increasing nationalism, the trade war between US and China, the struggles of emerging economies, the failures in world trade and cooperation.

Within two weeks, Lynn fully agreed with Andy Grove – “In such an environment, one definitely needs to be paranoid,’ she said to herself, “I will need to master the Five Weapons if I want to survive a crisis.”

Within four weeks, she realized that neither her nor Rajat’s jobs could be taken for granted. One misstep here or one change there, and the company would need to cut costs drastically.

In parallel, Lynn started planning her Strategy (and upgrading her Learning).

In her reading, she also learnt about the forces that were disrupting HR. During this, Lynn had come across a McKinsey article on how 40% of HR jobs in the future would be done by computers and bots. She agreed with the article – “Much of what we do is repetitive and patterned,” she thought, “So easy to digitalize.”

She realized that some parts of HR – talent management, performance management, employee engagement – would be difficult to offshore or digitalize. “If I want to continue in HR and survive a crisis, I will need to become an expert in these areas,” she said to herself.

Lynn looked for and joined two HR professional forums so that we could keep track of the state of the art and find avenues to learn and develop herself.

She visited a career counselor. “What areas, other than HR, can my current capabilities and competencies help me excel in?” she asked.

Lynn had always been good at Networking.

Now, she bumped it into high gear. Within 6 weeks, she had got to know and interact with more than 50 managers and leaders in the HR world through the forums.

A close friend advised her to develop her social media profile. With some help, she started writing a weekly blog on HR issues and inviting her friends, colleagues and acquaintances to contribute and engage.

Lynn also started a new initiative – she started calling on and meeting with HR and non-HR managers in the various organizations in her building. There were more than a 100 companies, and she planned to build at least one relationship in each company in the next 6-7 months.

Finally, Lynn evaluated her personal situation, to see how Flexible she really was. 

She totaled up her assets, calculated her monthly outgo, spoke to her parents about their needs, consulted a wealth manager friend. Lynn quickly learnt that she had not given her own financial security enough priority in the past. Being flexible, she realized, was to a large extent, an outcome of being financially independent.

Lynn calculated that she had enough to sustain herself for about 9-12 months. But that was not sufficient. To be able to survive a crisis, she needed to be able to sustain at least 24-26 months.

She sat with her (newly appointed) wealth manager and put in place a new approach. Together, they laid out specific goals to achieve and decided on a savings and investment plan to reach this soon. She also enlisted for an online course in personal investing.

By March 2020, Lynn was well on her way to achieving most of her milestones, if not her goals. She felt much more confident that she could survive a crisis now, but did not allow herself to become complacent.

Tragedy Strikes

On 15 April 2020, both Rajat Chandra and Lynn Cheng received notices of termination with immediate effect.

“The Company is unable to sustain its current operations, and regretfully needs to seek judicial protection,” said the letters.

Rajat was shocked and flabbergasted.

Lynn was saddened. But not surprised.

You Shall Reap What You Sow

Today, four months later, Rajat is at home, applying for jobs. His savings are gradually running out. He now suffers from hypertension and is on medication.

Meanwhile, Lynn is Talent Management Specialist in one of the top e-commerce companies in the world. She earns 30% more than what she did previously.

Lynn is not resting, however. She continues to hone her Five Weapons.

1. Situational Awareness
2. Flexibility & Mobility
3. Networking
4. Strategy & Planning
5. Continuous Learning

Lynn knows that success is never final. That she has to be armed and ready for the next shock, the next upheaval.

Lynn is not just a survivor. She is a winner.

As you can be, if you master the Five Weapons…

****

If you are more Rajat than Lynn, start learning how to wield the Five Weapons NOW. If you are more Lynn than Rajat, help me share these principles with your colleagues and friends, so that they may prepare themselves before it is too late. 

Do send your inputs to me, either as a comment or as a PM.

Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 11 August 2020.

Post Script :

1. For other interesting CEO Chronicles click here.
2. Follow me so that you don’t miss the next issue of CEO Chronicles.

#BillionDollarLearnings #radicaladvice #ceochronicles #purpose #mentoring #careers #career #careeradvice #careerguidance #bestadvice #personaldevelopment

Five weapons to deal with the post-pandemic world? Really? Why do I need them?

Read on…

I am so sorry, but…

“…we have to let you go…”

“…we need to reduce salaries by 50%…”

“…we are out-sourcing your entire department to Philippines…”

“…the company is unable to meet its obligations, and going into liquidation…”

I truly hope and pray that you have not heard any of the above sentences.

But there is no guarantee that you will not hear these directed at you in the next five years..

Why?

Because disruption, change and transition are becoming the permanent feature of our lives, both in the workplace and out of it.

And because the markets are morphing faster than most companies can cope with.

Because ‘black swan’ events are becoming as common as white swans.

Because politicians and nations are tearing at the tapestry that has been painstakingly developed over the past 70 years, leading to nationalist bombast and global disconnects.

And because you are unprepared and do not have all the tools and weapons you need to survive and thrive in an uncaring, juggernaut world.

The world has changed beyond recognition in the last 6 months. An organism without intellect, form, strategy, or desire has rendered us fearful, cowering and suspicious of one another. It has stopped us from entering our workplaces, from travelling, from entertainment, from sports. It has rendered us humans, the most powerful of all species on earth, impotent.

Oh No! What Should I Do?

Prepare.

You need to prepare to survive and thrive in a situation where the odds are against you.

Prepare to fight forces that are much more powerful, and win.

And to prepare for the future, look to the past.

Hannibal and the Romans

The year was 218 BCE.

Carthage and Rome were at war.

Hannibal, Carthage’s general, realised that he was taking on the most powerful army in the world.

His first major battle in Italy at Trebia was an incomplete success as the Roman center broke free and escaped.

So, he changed his tactics. Deep in the forested hills of Italy, Hannibal planned to trap the entire Roman army. Taking advantage of the aggressive pursuit of the Roman general Flaminius, Hannibal led the Romans onto a narrow path between Lake Trasimene and the rolling hills.

Hannibal had set a small force at the far side of the lake with large amounts of baggage, fire and plenty of smoke. This was to make it seem that they were the rearguard of his army marching or preparing to march just over the next hill. Flaminius took the bait and sent his men in a pursuit column to quickly march along the narrow road between the hills and the coast.

Little did Flaminius know that the hills he was squeezing past contained the vast majority of Hannibal’s hidden army. Once Flaminius’ force had all been funneled into the gap, the Carthaginians charged down the hills, smashing into the disorganized Roman marching column. Nearly the entire 30,000 man Roman army was killed or captured. Hannibal won decisively.

The battle of Lake Trasimene remains, after 2,200 years, the biggest successful ambush in history.

What weapons did Hannibal use to succeed against a vastly superior force?

The Five Weapons

Hannibal was only 27 years old when he took over as general of the Carthaginian army.

He did not have the experience that Rome’s generals had; nor he did not have their massive armies; and he surely did not have their unending wealth.

What he had was five weapons. What he had was (AND SO CAN YOU!) :

Weapon # 1 : Situational Awareness 

Situational awareness is the study and perception of environmental elements and events, understanding them and their impact, and recognising their impact on the future.

It is critical to planning and preparing yourself for the changing, shifting world. It is necessary to ensure that we are not caught unawares, and find ourselves on the wrong side of any table.

Hannibal learnt everything he could about the countries and armies around him. He sent out spies, he built networks, he made allies – all to ensure that he was always situationally aware.

This allowed him to understand Rome’s military tactics and plan his own to counter them.

Weapon # 2 : Flexibility & Mobility 

Hannibal realized early the need to be agile, the need for speed, the ability to turn on a dime.

He recognized that inertia was a fatal flaw; that the tortoise wins only in fables and not in real life.

He trained himself and his armies in moving quickly. Legend has it that the entire force of 8,000 soldiers could set up or break camp in less than 6 hours. He developed the concept of redundancy – he not just had a Plan B, he had a Plan C, a Plan D and a Plan E – and he ensured that he could switch from one to the other at lightning speed.

Weapon # 3 : Networking 

Long before Facebook and LinkedIn, Hannibal knew the criticality of networking.

First, with his own army. Hannibal lived among his soldiers and worked alongside them. He knew his men well, and built amazing relationships.

Second, with adjoining kingdoms and countries. Hannibal realized that if he was going to war, he would need allies. He could not leave his back vulnerable while rushing forward. He built alliances, partnership and friendships across Europe.

Weapon # 4 : Strategy

Hannibal had a clear vision and strategy; but he did not cast this in stone. He knew, long before modern military strategists, that “no battle plan survives the first contact with the enemy”.

He had a broad overarching vision (he knew what he wanted to achieve), and multiple approaches and strategies that he could shift between, choosing the most optimal path for that moment in time.

By doing this, Hannibal always kept ahead of the situation unfolding around him.

Weapon # 5 : Learning

Hannibal is one of the earliest historical generals who is known to have been ‘a student for life’.

He realised that his knowledge needed to be continuously updated and refreshed. If it was not, his strategy would be out of date, his plans would become stale, his relationships would wither.

He would read and listen and ask questions and send out scouts and pore over maps and understand cultures and behaviours.

When he won, he spent time understanding why. When he lost, he did the same. Every day was a day to add to his knowledge, to his understanding, to his appreciation of the world.

The Art Of War

Hannibal, like you, lived in tumultuous and disruptive times. He, too, was young and ambitious. He, too, wanted to survive and win and succeed.

Let us be clear – you, like Hannibal, are at war. A different kind of war, but a war nevertheless. You are at war with political incompetence, corporate greed, geopolitical tension, black swans, climate change, morphing workplaces. Each of these can hurt you, render you and your family vulnerable and homeless, can cause you hurt and pain and suffering.

You, like Hannibal, need to arm yourself with these five weapons that will allow you to battle with and overcome the challenges that you face today and will face increasingly tomorrow.

What are these five weapons?

1. Situational Awareness
2. Flexibility & Mobility
3. Networking
4. Strategy & Planning
5. Continuous Learning

Armed with these five weapons, Hannibal took on the most powerful army in the world and won.

So can you.

****

If you fear the ‘I am so sorry… situation’ for those you care, help me share thse principles with them, so that they may prepare themselves before it is too late…

Please send your inputs to me, either as a comment or as a PM.

Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 28 July 2020.

Post Script :

1. For other interesting CEO Chronicles click here.
2. Follow me so that you don’t miss the next issue of CEO Chronicles.

#ceochronicles #careeradvice #careers #bestadvice #hiringandpromotion #personaldevelopment #success #leadership #purpose #fulfilment

The Final Question

“So what do you think, Karla?” I asked. “About toxic teams, and what you can do about them?”

I am sure you remember Karla. She is the young lady who was having a difficult time in a toxic work environment, and two articles ago, had asked me three questions :

• One, why are some teams so toxic?
• Two, how can toxicity be removed from teams?
• Three, what should Karla do in this situation?

My friend Faizal had answered the first one in “Why Are Some Teams Toxic?”; and a world-famous executive coach, Barbara, had addressed the second question in “How Do We Prevent Toxic Teams?”. I had shared both these detailed responses with Karla.

Now it was time to answer the final question.

Karla seemed both thoughtful and downcast. She took her time answering.

“It seems, uncle, that based on what Faizal and Barbara said, that there is very little I can do to solve the problem,” she said, haltingly.

I had reached a similar conclusion, but still asked,

“What makes you say this, Karla?”

“Well, it seems evident from both narratives that toxicity can only be removed or cured by changing the leadership and/or the culture. I am too junior and too new in this company to be able to influence either.”

I told you she was smart.

“Much as I hate agreeing with any statement that does not lead to a solution,” I said, “I have to agree. Some workplace issues cannot be resolved by junior team members, and toxicity seems to be one such.”

What Can You Do When You Are In A Toxic Team?

“Having said that,” I continued, “this does not mean that you cannot survive in a toxic team or use your time in such a team to your advantage. There are some very important learnings that you can take away from a toxic team.”

“Like what, uncle?” asked Karla skeptically.

“As you grow and move to being a manager, and then a leader; as you move positions and roles and companies, you are going to come across such situations,” I said, “isn’t it worth learning the nuts and bolts of such teams, so that you can recognise and develop strategies that you can use in the future?”

Karla brightened visibly. “That sounds like a good idea,” she said, “how do I go about it?”

“Let’s start with identifying the different kinds of players in a toxic team,” I said, “by doing this, we can make sure that you will be able to recognise what and who you are dealing with.”

The Five Enemies Of Teamwork

“A few weeks ago, I came across this write-up in a website called www.weekdone.com,” I said, “It described the five enemies of teamwork.”

The False Prophet

These employees tend to promise more (much more) than they deliver. They may not even do it intentionally, but they do it regularly. Often, these big promises are made in public (in team meetings, for example), and then forgotten in private.

The Sleeping Partner

These employees believe that shared responsibility means “everybody else shares the responsibility”! They are very good at passing bucks, transferring monkeys from their shoulders to others’ and finding reasons why not.

The Headline Hero

Some employees will, when something is done, find a way to take the credit. They are also excellent in transferring the blame if something goes wrong. Such employees are quite willing to sacrifice their colleagues and their teams on any altar that is convenient.

The Weeping Willow

Then, there are the employees who are experts in finding fault in every little thing. These people spend most of their time on criticizing instead of actually working and doing something useful.

The Lone Ranger

And finally, there are employees who have no idea of the meaning of the world “team.” They are so completely self involved that they believe in the dictum, “my way or the highway”. They don’t like to listen to others’ ideas or recommendations, and even actively tear them down.

“And, each of these categories of employees can be handled or managed,” I concluded, looking at Karla for her reaction.

Tactics To Tame Toxic Teams

Karla sat forward excitedly.

“Wow, uncle, I can relate to each of these types of employees!” she exclaimed.

“You remember that I spoke to you about Rakesh? Well, he is the perfect Headline Hero! And then there is Soon Kim, my boss – he’s a real Lone Ranger! Also, there is a lady called Phyllis in one of our teams who complains all the time about everything!”

I laughed. “Been there, seen that,” I said. “That is the beauty of such smart categorization – they come easily to life!”

“But how do I deal with these different types of colleagues?” asked Karla.

“Well, there is no one way, but there are some overarching principles.”

“With the False Prophet, you need to add a buffer of time and effort to everything they tell you; this will keep you safe from disappointment.”

“With the Sleeping Partner, what I have found is to get them to lead projects – they will find the easiest and fastest way to complete them, so that they can go back to bed!”

“In case of the Headline Hero, document every interaction and ensure that others are copied. These employees will quickly realize that they cannot piggyback on your ideas, as everyone knows that these are yours.”

“If you persuade Weeping Willows to take on loads of routine tasks, they will not be happy, but will not have the time to criticize and complain!”

“And finally, with the Lone Ranger, just best to leave them alone. If they need you, they will approach you.”

The Final Answer

“So, Karla, while not everyone can fix toxic teams, we can find ways to survive and even manage the situation to our advantage.” I said.

“As you well know, not all of us have the luxury of being able to leave our current jobs and seek another one,” I continued, “we have to make the best of the cards that we are dealt.”

“That is very true,” Karla said, with a faraway look in her eyes. “I am slowly realising that if I use the right tactics with each of my team members, I can influence the team to at least some extent…”

“Absolutely,” I said, “that is the right approach. Every colleague has a specific set of stimuli that they will respond to; it is upto you to discover the right buttons to push and when, and you will see some amazing and surprising outcomes!”

“Thank you so much, uncle,” said Karla, as she rose to leave, “I am going to give it my best shot. Thank you for listening to my problems and for helping me find answers.”

“I live to serve,” I quipped. “All the best, Karla!”

****

Have you encountered the Five Enemies of Teamwork?How did you deal with them? Are there more such Enemies? Do share your views and experiences…

Please send them to me, either as a comment or as a PM. Let us cure the persistent disease of toxicity in teams…

Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 30 June 2020.

Post Script :

1. For other interesting CEO Chronicles click here.
2. Follow me so that you don’t miss the next issue of CEO Chronicles.

#ceochronicles #careeradvice #careers #bestadvice #hiringandpromotion #personaldevelopment #success #leadership

Resilience & the Perfect Employee

This is the story of the incredible resilience of a 45 year old woman, struck by a tragedy in the prime of her life.

Why this story?

You may recall that in #ceochronicles article # 20, we asked, ‘What qualities make up a perfect employee?’

We agreed that the four main qualities of a PERRfect employee are –

• Proactivity
• Emotionally Intelligence
• Reliability, and
• RESILIENCE

In the articles that followed, we discussed proactivity, emotional intelligence and reliability, and how we can build these qualities in ourselves.

This story shows us what resilience really is, and how we can make it part of our professional armory.

Loss

She sat in the darkening room. Her eyes were dry. She just had no more tears. As her eyes scanned the room, errant memories surfaced.

He used to sit in that easy chair, enjoying his coffee and newspaper every Sunday morning.

That is the sideboard we bought when our first son was born. How shocked we were when we found out the price!

Today is Saturday; we would have all gone to the temple together.

No more.

That life was no more. He, her husband, was no more. Not even 50, he had left her and their four children bereft. A heart attack, they said. We tried everything, they said. It’s God’s will, they said.

The tumult had died down. His body had been cremated. The countless rituals that various relatives insisted on were done. The house was almost empty, reflecting what she felt.

What was she to do? She had never envisaged this future in her wildest imaginings. In all her visions, he was always there by her side. And now he wasn’t and never would be.

What was she to do?

Recovery

As a matter of habit, she wiped her dry eyes with the pallu of her sari. She took a deep breath.

First, I have to make sure that the children are not impacted in any way, she thought. Shri needs to go back to college at the earliest. Once he immerses himself, he will recover.

Chandra, too. I never know what’s in that boy’s mind, she thought. He must be hurting badly, but doesn’t show it at all.

Her heart seemed to tear apart when she thought of her youngest two. Oh, they are too young to lose their father, her mind cried. 13 and 11! How cruel can life be?

I have to look for the bank passbooks. How much money do we have? Not very much, I think.

When are the college and school fees due? When is the next rent due?

She almost broke down again. He would handle all these issues, she thought. I don’t even know how much the fees are! Shri has another 3 years, and Chandra has another 5 years. How will we manage?

She recalled a snippet of conversation from earlier that week –

“Just come over to Trichy and live with us. We are there for you. We will take care of everything…”

As tempting as that sounded, her back straightened with resolve. I am not going to be a burden on anyone. My children will not be a burden on anyone. Whatever we do, we will do by ourselves.

She stood up, feeling more tired than she had ever before in her life. Strangely, at the same time, she also felt a sense of strength that she did not know existed. She started walking to the cupboard to find the bank papers, her stride becoming firmer with every step.

Response

Seven years had passed.

She sat in the front row, excited and proud to be witnessing her youngest son’s convocation ceremony. Guests were still being ushered in, the hall was alive with chatter.

She also felt a sense of tremendous relief.

Shri has completed his post graduation and is doing so well in the US, she sighed. Chandra is a full fledged doctor. And now, Sesha will start his career as an engineer. Padma is well on her way to completing her BA. What an amazing girl she is – so supportive and caring!

I never thought we would make it, she thought.

As the hall gradually filled up with parents and families, her mind slipped back in time. How did we make it? she asked herself. Her mind scanned the thousands of memories, sliding over them, but not finding anything that stood out.

Probably God’s will, she said to herself, as the first announcement for the graduation ceremony shook her out of her reverie.

My Mother’s Guide To Resilience

No, it was not God’s will.

It was my mother’s will. It was her courage, her patience, her persistence, her belief in herself and in her family and her willingness to work 25 hours a day.

Today, 45 years later, we know how she made it. She started with the first component of resilience, which is

1. Courage

My mother is the most courageous person I have known.

I whine when the smallest of issues befall me. “Oh, my car stereo is not working. Why does this always happen to me?” It’s easy to be a victim, isn’t it?

Even before my father died, my mother soldiered through the most difficult of times, never complaining, never ever allowing any of what she went through to be known to or seen by her children. It was only later on in life that we realised how much we were insulated and protected by her.

My mother is a small woman. And physically rather frail. But in terms of her ability to cope and stand strong, she is a giant.

Many years later, when we asked her how she coped with her husband’s sudden and premature passing, she would say, “What could I do? I did not have the luxury of extended grieving. You were four hungry, growing children. I had to put aside my personal issues and make sure that you had whatever you needed to complete your studies successfully and start living your independent lives. That was what drove my every thought, my every action.”

My mother doesn’t use words like courage. She lives them.

“Courage is not the absence of fear. It is overcoming fear, knowing that you have to achieve a goal regardless.”

The next quality that comprises resilience is

2. Patience

My mother understands the value of patience.

When we were young, and desperately wanted something, she would say, “Be patient, there is a time and place for everything.”

When she was going through her darkest hours, she realised that she had to play the long game. Yes, everything seemed dire and disastrous, but that was now. There was always tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow. And the day after that. She had to get through each day, step by difficult step, patiently doing what needed to be done, so that tomorrow was better.

My mother pawned her jewelry to put her children through college, her heart breaking as she did so, but hoping and believing that she would one day, get it all back. One day, she did.

She fought a court battle to evict recalcitrant tenants for over 7 years, finally getting possession of the house her husband and she had built with their toil and tears.

She still has this amazing quality of ‘calm’; the ability to remain unflurried even in a maelstrom.

“In battling the challenges of life, the two most powerful weapons are patience and time.”

A third component of resilience that my mother taught us by example is

3. Persistence

My mother doesn’t know when to quit.

She never, never gives up.

We, her children, were not the obedient, amenable examples that parents dream of, before they have children. We were headstrong, opinionated, argumentative and disobedient.

She recognised that arguing was futile. So she waited us out. We went through teenage rebellion. She was there for us and gave us her advice when we asked. We went through adolescent angst. She waited, and gave us her shoulder to cry one. We went through crests and troughs, seeking ourselves. She fed us and listened to us and suggested that we look at things differently.

In time, one by one, we fell in line. We recognised the value of the values she wanted us to live by. We understood what was right. Her teachings, previously seeds on arid soil, took root and bloomed.

My mother always played the long game. She never gives up.

When we were young, my mother told us about a small stream encountering a large rock.

“The stream finally cut its way through the rock,” she said, “not because of how powerful it was, but because of how persistent it was.”

Yet another quality that supported my mother’s resilience was

4. Belief

My mother believes. In herself, in God, in her family, in people. She believes that good will prevail. That all will be well in the end.

She was fortunate to have wonderful, supportive parents and loving siblings. She knew she could count on them, even if she never leaned on them.

My mother was fortunate to have the help of people who came forward to advise and guide her in sorting out the administrative mess than any intestate death brings.

She was lucky to have a few close friends whom she could speak to, confide in and pour her heart out complaining about her headstrong, disobedient children.

She has immense faith in the Almighty. This faith carries her across arid deserts and stormy waves.

Her belief sustained her through the worst of times; it calmed her in the best of times.

I remember reading a quote and immediately thinking of my mother –

“The sky is not the limit. Your belief-system is.”

The final quality that defines resilience (and my mother) is

5. Hard work

My mother worked 16 hours every day. Seven days a week.

She arose at 4:00 AM and slept at 10:00 PM. (I think she still does!)

My mother hates depending on anyone else. She hates taking shortcuts. She believes in the joy and satisfaction of doing something herself and doing it well.

My mother always believed and still believes that our actions define our intent. Work, she believes, is worship.

When I was 9 and was crying about something I wanted and did not have, she said,

“You get what you work for, not what you wish for”

The Power of Resilience

My mother taught me the 5 qualities that comprise resilience.

1. Courage
2. Patience
3. Persistence
4. Belief
5. Hard work

Not rocket science. (Though she also taught me physics when I was young). Simple, timeless qualities.

I hope her lessons will serve you well, as they did me.

****

Would you like to name and thank the people in your life who taught you to be resilient? It would be great to celebrate our gurus and mentors!

Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 14 April 2020.

Post Script :

1. For other interesting CEO Chronicles click here.
2. Follow me so that you don’t miss the next issue of CEO Chronicles.

#ceochronicles #careeradvice #careers #bestadvice #hiringandpromotion #personaldevelopment #success #leadership

Resilience

This week, I was to write about the fourth weapon in the PERRfect Employee’s arsenal – Resilience.

However, we are in a dire situation where the whole world needs resilience. Countries, communities, companies, individuals across the globe are in the thrall of a pandemic. Borders are being shut down, jobs are being lost, subsistence is at risk, fever is raging and the bodies are piling. How do we cope?

So, rather than write about the components of resilience or the professional’s path to resilience, I am sharing two touching stories about people who have gone through their darkest times and found their way out into light.

These stories are extracts from www.optionb.org, a platform that helps people build resilience and find meaning in the face of adversity.

My Husband Murdered His Father!

That moment that everything changes. For me, that was July 17, 1989. Sitting in a police interrogation room, my world crashed down as I listened to two detectives tell me that my husband had coordinated and carried out the murder of his father.

At the time, I was newly married and seven months pregnant. When I learnt that the man I had loved and planned a family with could do such a horrible thing, it buried my head, my heart, and my hope for the future in darkness.

As much as I wanted to move forward and back into the light, reminders of that day were inescapable for the next several years. Newspaper headlines and evening news stories about my husband’s case were a regular occurrence. My hometown community whispered. Friends walked away. His trial and sentencing to twenty-two years to life brought even more press coverage and chatter.

But in that time of darkness, my beautiful child was born. My desire to move forward turned into a need to move forward. The need begat a will to move forward. And I began to see that I had options for my life, and my daughter’s life, other than those that were crushed. I would find another option, and it would be good.

Finding Option B

This was not easy. It required me to step out of complacency and into action. As I navigated my divorce, I had to use my voice in a new and assertive way, something that I was not used to. Being burdened by all of the financial obligations of my ex-husband’s debts tested my negotiation skills. I faced and dealt with the emotional fallout of fear, betrayal and anxiety. For the first time, I was truly choosing to happen to life, rather than letting life happen to me. I was choosing resiliency.

There were moments when I had to simply rely on a will-do attitude, rather than a can-do attitude. At times, I wanted to sink back under what felt like the weight of the world. But as I took accountability and responsibility for shaping my future, and that of my daughter, I decided that my life would be a life of victory, not of being a victim of someone else’s actions and the judgment and darkness they brought.

In the years since, I have found a healthy and loving relationship. I have raised three daughters to be strong, independent women. At the age of thirty-five, I returned to college and earned my degree on the same day that my oldest daughter earned hers. I have traveled the world.

Along the journey, life has tested my resilience time and again. Emotions, questions, anger, confusion, and hurt didn’t just disappear when I chose something different for our lives. But as issues arise, I feel, address, and work through them. I learn from them.

You see, I did not just move forward to exist. I bounced forward and am living.

Suddenly, The World Went Dark

A week after New Year’s Day, Gabby Giffords was shot. The year of 2011, which had started so inspired, had turned into a tragedy..

Gabby loved New Year’s. To her, starting afresh has significant meaning. Before she was shot, Gabby was one of those dedicated New Year’s resolution-makers – she always had a list of 10 things she wanted to achieve, whether reading more books or finally taking lessons in the French horn, the instrument she played in college. She always prompted her husband to make his own resolution, because he never would without her encouragement. But that year, and every year since, she’s had one resolution: to keep fighting through her recovery.

Gabby was shot by a zealot, who also killed and injured eighteen other people in his shooting spree. In one instant, her life and those of her family changed.

Gabby was shot point blank in the head. She was not expected to live. But she did. She survived and after two harrowing weeks in the hospital, began the long road to recovery.

Gabby suffered from severe aphasia, a result of her traumatic brain injury, which made speaking difficult. She was paralyzed in her right arm and right leg, so she had difficulty moving around. Gabby lost 50% of her vision in both eyes. These struggles remain to this day.

An Uphill Journey

On 1^st August, 2011, eight months after she was shot, Gabby made her first public appearance on the House floor to vote in favor of raising the debt limit ceiling. She was met with a standing ovation and accolades from her fellow members of Congress.

On 22^nd January, 2012, Gabby announced that she would resign from her congressional seat in order to concentrate on her recovery, but promised to return to public service in the future.

Over the past years, Gabby has gone through intensive rehabilitation treatments. Her surgeon noted that Gabby’s recovery was long, arduous and tiring, and expressed amazement at her progress.

Even through all the pain and trauma, Gabby opened her heart and home to everyone who wanted to talk to her. She refuses to give up, and stills sees the world in a positive light. Gabby runs a political action committee “Giffords: Courage to Fight Gun Violence.” She is still a vital politician and activist, active on Twitter and working passionately to give voice to millions of regular Americans who desire gun control and safety.

It’s coming on nine years now. And in that time, Gabby and her husband Mark have learned a lot.

“You may find that after times of tragedy or struggle, your cherished traditions change,” says Mark. “Some may disappear. Others may just need to wait, for now. But if you leave yourself open to them, new ones will appear – and you’ll find causes for celebration and types of resolve that you may not have otherwise imagined…”

The Power of Resilience

As we see from the above stories, resilience is the hard fought ability to bounce back from tough situations. Resilience is about NOT becoming a victim of helplessness and angst.

So often, we go through such horrible situations that it seems impossible to come out strong on the other end. But resilience allows us to just this. Once we learn to take control of our lives, prepare for the unexpected, reinforce our mental, spiritual and physical selves, we will find ourselves living happier, more purpose-filled lives. We will also learn to handle adversity with calm and deliberation.

Increasing our resilience is about willpower, about deliberate action, about being adaptable, about self esteem.

We will discuss these aspects of resilience in the next article.

Till then, let us all be healthy, safe and positive. Let us try and help those around us whose ability to cope is less than ours. To find ways to be proactive and empathetic with our families, friends, neighbours and community members. Let us be products of our actions, not of our circumstances.

This pandemic, too, will pass. We will be strong again.

****

Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 31 March 2020.

Post Script :

1. For other interesting CEO Chronicles click here.
2. Follow me so that you don’t miss the next issue of CEO Chronicles.

Credits :

1. Article # 1 : Angie Mozilo, June 2017, optionb.org
2. Article # 2 : Gabby Giffords & Mark Kelly, November 2017, otionb.org

#ceochronicles #careeradvice #careers #bestadvice #hiringandpromotion #personaldevelopment #success #leadership #purpose