CATEGORY:CEO Chronicles

We now know that the three questions that can change your life forever are –

In the sixth article, “Mission Possible!”, we explored the first question – WHO AM I? We discussed how knowing ourselves and having a clear purpose gives us freedom; and we explored the steps to take to discover our purpose and write our personal mission statement.

In this article, we will answer the second question – WHERE DO I WANT TO GO? We will explore the critical need for a DESTINATION or VISION.

Just like your mission statement discovers your WHY, your personal vision describes your WHERE. Where am I going? Where do I want to be? And above all, how can I define my dream destination?

A personal vision defines your end-game, your ideal social media profile. It crystallises your dreams.

Your vision allows you to track where you are going, and whether you are on the right path.

It inspires you to focus forward without looking back on past regrets.

And above all, it gives you control. A personal vision allows you to drive your choices and decisions, rather than leaving things up to chance or allowing others make decisions for you. As a result, you are in charge of where you are going, making it easier for you to get exactly where you want to be.

A Road to Nowhere

Life is a journey, a unique one for each of us. For the first part, we are passengers in our parents’ or caregivers’ journey. They decide (mostly) the route, the conveyance, the stops, the milestones and the speed. Around the late teens or early twenties, when we begin our first job, we step out, say thank you to those who have brought us so far, and begin our own independent journey.

At this point in time, we should be asking the most basic question. Where do I want to go?

Sadly, we don’t even know that we should ask this question. We tend to either travel the road that our predecessors have driven so far, or we start choosing turns and routes based on short-term whims. As we go along, we have no way to plan our route, no way to measure progress, no way to celebrate achievement. While we know we are moving, we only dimly recognise that we are moving without any sense of where we want to be and by when and with whom.

This does not mean that our lives are completely meaningless. Some of us traverse short stretches of happiness, many of us achieve traditional milestones (marriage, house ownership, parenthood, et al), some fortunately avoid needless jams, a few chance upon routes that are breathtakingly beautiful.

But, for the most part, we find ourselves tangled in the inconsequential – traversing service roads and alleys, entering and exiting cul de sacs, finding ourselves frequently at the same crossroads that we had passed a while ago.

Too Slow and Too Frustrating

A career is an integral part of our independent journey. We look forward to it and hope to excel in it. Too often, however, we find ourselves working in jobs we never foresaw, in roles that don’t play to our strengths, in positions we should have moved past long ago. We decide job and career moves based on impulse, convincing ourselves that this will lead us to nirvana. Over time, we find ourselves accumulating more regrets than experience, more whines than wins. In the solitude of the night, we wonder why the trajectory of our dreams is so much flatter and longer in reality…

What then should we do, to break out of this spiral? How can we ensure a journey that is uplifting, joyful and full of meaning?

The answer starts with recognising what successful people do differently from others. They plan ahead. Like them, we need to plan our journey, and to do that, we should

Begin with the Destination

Let me ask you a question: when you decide to take a much-deserved holiday, what is the first item on your list? Yes, you are absolutely right – you will first decide where you want to go.

Everything else follows this decision. How long should the holiday be? Which route shall we take? Should we fly, drive or take the train? Should we stopover somewhere? How much money do we need for the trip? Who should we go with? Should we dress for warmth or for the cold? What documents and certificates do we need to carry? What culture do we need to prepare for?

When we don’t know the destination, all these other decisions and discussions are moot. We are mired in circular arguments, leading to frustration and inaction.

Be a Visionary

Similarly, when we start our career journey, we need to plan our end-game. What do we want to be? Where do we want to go? How can we find joy? What will fulfil us, satisfy us, make the journey amazing, fun and eventful?

This career destination is called a “vision”.

A career vision is a statement about what we want to achieve in our career. It describes the major goals we hope to achieve, the position we hope to rise to, and the legacy that we hope to leave.

Our vision is something we can aspire to, and which inspires us.

It opens our eyes to our attainable future and gives us a purpose.

Our career vision gives us direction and provides us the ability to chart the course of our professional journey. It allows us to recognise delays and deviations. Most importantly, it helps us define our path to joy, our measures of success and accomplishment, and our legacy.

Conversely, without a career vision, we passively allow the external world to plot our career graph. We continue as a pliable passenger, rather than taking control as the driver. Over time, we find ourselves bemoaning our lot, still searching for answers, still feeling like we are missing something. We feel that we don’t have many options and succumb to a sense of quiet desperation.

Sadly, the cause of this misery stems at our own doorstep. It is easier not to have to put in the effort to develop a mission statement or a personal vision. We find it convenient to postpone any investment in ourselves when we are dealing with the minutae of life.

I repeat – having a personal vision is critical. It guarantees you clarity, control and contentment. Your every day becomes rife with anticipation and every evening replete with satisfaction. I urge you to start the process of defining your vision today.

In the next article, we will discuss the best approach to define and describe our personal vision.

Any feedback?

I hope you have enjoyed reading this instalment of CEO Chronicles. Your feedback, commentary and suggestions are not just welcome, they are requested and will be deeply appreciated.

If you want a private discussion, please write to vshesh@radicaladvice.net.

Cheers,

Shesh.

(Singapore / 25 June 2019)

The serial guide to navigating your liferaft through corporate rapids…

In the previous article, we discussed, “The Three Questions That Can Change Your Life Forever!”

Who am I? Where do I want to go? How do I get there?

Many readers commented that these questions are easier asked than answered. You are absolutely right. They are.

However, we need to remember that as children and adolescents, we learnt first how to read and then to write; then to do math and understand complex concepts in chemistry and social science. None of these were easy when we began. Each subject took time and effort and hard work to learn and master.

These life questions, too, need focus and study and commitment. As in any learning, the time you spend is a worthwhile investment in yourself. And the returns can be amazing!

Let us recap what we know of mission or purpose. Who Am I?

Your mission statement is your unique identity – it describes who you are, what motivates you, what and what is really important to you.

It articulates what success looks like, to you.

Your mission crystallizes your aspirations, hopes and dreams.

It integrates the various parts of you, drives focus, and defines your “Why”.

(At this point, I would strongly recommend Simon Sinek’s amazing 2009 TED Talk, where Mr Sinek eloquently discusses how understanding one’s purpose leads to inspiration and success, both for organisations and for people)

Finally, the true brilliance of a mission statement is that, in addition to defining your WHY, it does two seemingly contrary things – one, it establishes boundaries, and two, it gives you freedom!

Boundaries and Freedom?

What? you ask. How can creating boundaries give me freedom?

That is an understandable first reaction. I agree – boundaries are rarely associated with freedom.

But think about it this way – boundaries are essential if we want to avoid distractions and focus on the things that we find most fulfilling. Setting clear boundaries relieves you of uncertainty.

Once we have set the boundaries for what we will and will not do in our life, whenever we come across anything outside those boundaries, we don’t have to even think or worry or agonise about it. This frees us to focus our mind and energies on pursuing what we really want, without diversion or disturbance.

In my case, as part of writing my mission statement many years ago, I realised something about myself. I was a coward. I was very risk averse. Uncertainty of any form stressed me out and paralysed me. This realisation helped me recognise that I would never be an entrepreneur. I needed the safety and comfort of a monthly salary cheque.

Once I had this clarity, I focussed on my corporate career, built a vision that would lead me to becoming a CEO, which gave me an immense sense of satisfaction and achievement. Through my career, I encountered many proposals to start or join start-ups. I did not have to agonise over these. Each time, I said thank you, but no thank you – this is not who I am. My mission statement released me from decisions that could have cost me tremendous amounts of time, effort and mindshare, and allowed me to focus on my core aspiration.

So, how do we create a mission statement?

A meaningful personal mission statement needs you to introspect and ask yourself questions and understand four aspects of yourself –

• One, know your personality, emotions and motivations. (What makes you happy? When do you feel angry? What excites you? How do you react? What do you covet? What do you ignore?)
• Two, know your values, beliefs and principles. (What will you stand up for? Who will you fight for? What will you walk away from? Why do you stay awake?)
• Three, know your interests, passions and drivers. (What do you look forward to doing? During which parts of your life did you feel truly energised? What do you postpone? What bores you to tears?)
• Four, know your strengths, talents and skills. (List your inventory – all the assets that you have and use. You will be surprised at how much you have, which you have never noticed!)

This leads to you knowing who you are. By truly knowing yourself, you are ready for the next step, which is to answer the following four questions:

1. What do I really want out of life?
2. What do I want my life to stand for?
3. Therefore, what do I believe is my life’s purpose?
4. And finally, what am I uniquely capable of achieving?

The answers, collated and summarised in one or two paragraphs, will form your personal mission statement, your statement of purpose.

What is the best method to define your purpose? You can surely do this by yourself, but if you can identify and work with an experienced mentor or life coach who will guide you through the process, it makes the exercise easier, faster and even enjoyable.

(For a more comprehensive guideline on writing your personal mission statement, please check out https://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Personal-Mission-Statement.)

What do mission statements look like?

Recently, I met a dedicated teacher, Joell, who shared his mission statement with me. “I want to inspire positive change through teaching and coaching”, he said, “and by doing so, create opportunities for today’s youth.”

A close friend, Tanya, who is a home-maker wrote on her blog, “I want to establish a happy, healthy and joy-filled home, based on the right values and living by the right principles. In addition, I will ensure that my family greets every morning with joy and anticipation, and lay their heads down every night with a feeling of satisfaction.”

David, a CEO friend whom I respect tremendously, laid out his purpose, “I want to create value through leading people in delivering services that contribute to the betterment of the industry.”

Rita’s story

And finally, Rita, a former colleague, who is a now Business Director with a global IT services company. Recently, she recounted this anecdote in a company town-hall meeting :

“I was 33 years old. It seemed that I was continuously unhappy and dissatisfied. I was going through the motions in my career and my life, but not really enjoying what I did. This general misery was bleeding into my marriage and my relationships with my friends.

“I did not understand why. After all, I had had a good childhood, a lovely family and a reasonably decent career. But something was missing.

“I joined Shesh’s team in 2006. In one of our first meetings, he asked me what I wanted from life. That was the first time anyone had asked me this question. I tried to answer, and after some stammering, realised that I had absolutely no idea.

“We spoke about the need for a purpose and a vision. In the beginning, I was sceptical. These seemed very theoretical ideas. Over the next few weeks, I thought more and more about my purpose. Finally, I asked for a few days leave, and spent these reading everything I could about personal missions and visions and roadmaps. I realised what I was missing. I was going through life without knowing my why, my where or my how.

“That was the busiest ‘holiday’ in my life. By the time I returned to work, I had drafted my own mission and vision statement. For the first time, I knew with certainty who I was, what I wanted and where I wanted to go.

The turning point…

“I went back to Shesh and shared this with him. Together, we analysed what I had done, and polished the statements. Thereafter, we scheduled and had three meetings over weekends to work out a practical roadmap for me to achieve what I aspired.

“It is now 13 years. Every day of these 13 years has been fulfilling and meaningful. I get up every morning with anticipation and I go to bed every night with satisfaction. My career has bloomed; I am doing exactly what I want with the team I want. My learning and growth trajectories have swung upwards. I believe I am a more effective manager, a more capable leader, a better mother, a more supportive spouse and a more reliable friend. I am truly happy.”

Discovering and living your purpose guarantees you meaning, fulfilment and happiness.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this instalment of CEO Chronicles. Your feedback, commentary and suggestions are not just welcome, they are requested and will be deeply appreciated.

In the next article, we will answer the second question, “Where do I want to go?” and learn to define our destination or vision.

Cheers,

Shesh.
(Singapore / 11 June 2019)

So far, we have discussed bad bosses (Horrible Bosses!) and some dos and don’ts in dealing with them (Managing The Boss). We saw how Nadine used these principles (Oh My Boss!) to convert a suboptimal situation into one that led her to success.

Bad bosses, however, are just one bump on the long road that is our career.

Over the past year, one set of concerns has been recurring in my discussions with young professionals: How do we go about constructing a successful and happy corporate career? Where do we begin? What should we have done? What can we do now?

If you have ever faced or are facing these concerns, let me start with the good news. You are not alone. The two most prevalent feelings amongst professionals are

Uncertainty and Dissatisfaction

Fact 1: Most young people do not know what they want from life.

Fact 2: Most older people feel dissatisfied with what they have got from life.

“Wow!”, you say, “I thought only I felt this way. Are you saying that most people feel like this?” Sadly, yes. These are consistent findings of myriad research studies across the world.

In the words of renowned sociologist Dr. Gilewicz, “…young adults don’t know what to do with their lives because families, schools and colleges (with some exceptions) neither encourage them to have this inquiry nor do they provide enough opportunities and/or tools to facilitate it. At the very best they educate young people for an occupation, but they do not prepare them for life…”

An extract from, “If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?” by Professor Raghunathan of UT Austin – “…being financially secure and professionally successful should be a great basis for happiness, but it’s perfectly possible to have all these things and still be pretty miserable…because they are easier to measure, we tend to chase money and recognition rather than mastery and impact, which is a sure recipe for dissatisfaction…”

Now that you are feeling a little better, let us explore what you need to build a successful and happy career.

You need to answer three questions. These questions (and their answers) can change your life forever. They can lead you to an amazing and meaningful career. They can make every day one of joy and fulfilment. (In this article, we will only cover a brief overview of these questions and their answers; each question will be covered in depth in the subsequent articles for you to truly learn and benefit from.)

The first question is : Who am I (What do I want)?

Answering this question helps you discover your PURPOSE or MISSION.

All of us have come across and know about company mission statements. Such a statement acts as a framework that informs the organisation’s culture, its people, their behaviour and their practices. It explains the organization’s reason for being, and answers the question, “What business are we in?”

A personal mission statement is a bit different from a company mission statement, but the fundamental principles are the same. Steven Covey (in his book First Things First) talks about developing a mission statement as “connecting with your own unique purpose and the profound satisfaction that comes from fulfilling it.”

Your mission statement is your unique identity – it describes who you are, what motivates you, what and what is really important to you.

It articulates what success looks like, to you.

Your purpose crystallizes your aspirations, hopes and dreams.

It reveals your real purpose, your true north.

It integrates the various parts of you, drives focus, and defines your “Why”.

Writing and living your mission statement guarantees you meaning, significance and happiness.

Let me share with you a practical and real mission statement. My wife (who is an amazing baker) wrote hers many years ago. “I want to spread joy. I want to bake the perfect cake for each occasion, that will deliver an amazing experience as well as create an everlasting memory.” Ever since she decided that this was her mission, she has not only become a master of her art, she has found true joy and fulfilment.

The second question is : Where do I want to go?

Answering this question helps you describe your DESTINATION or VISION.

Just like your mission statement discovers your WHY, your personal vision describes your WHERE. Where am I going? Where do I want to be? And importantly, where is my dream destination?

Says Theresa Quadrozzi, life coach, “One of the first exercises I do with clients is to have them envision their ideal life, as if a fairy godmother granted their every wish and they woke up in the morning to find that they’ve all come true. This helps shift them out of a pessimistic, fear-based world, into possibilities, into hope, into what can be.”

A personal vision defines your ideal social media profile. It crystallises your dreams.

Your vision gives you clarity. It removes ambiguity and doubt.

You always know where you are and recognise when you detour.

Your vision allows you to balance your life.

It helps you filter out distractions.

It inspires you to focus forward without looking back on past regrets.

Most critically, a personal vision gives you control. It allows you to drive your choices and decisions, rather than leaving things up to chance or allowing others make decisions for you. You are in charge of where you are going, making it easier for you to get exactly where you want to be.

My wife, in her personal vision, said,

“I will be the first person my customers think of or recommend, when the topic is cakes (for any occasion). In addition, I will hear, even after 5 years, my customers telling me that they fondly remember the cake I made for them. Above all, I will constantly improve myself and learn new recipes and techniques, so that I can always deliver even more delicious and beautiful cakes.” She has followed through and has scripted her own destiny. Every cake she bakes is better and more beautiful than before. She has published her own cake book, “Baker’s Dozen”, teaches other aspiring bakers, and has brought joy into thousands of homes. Today, she has more than 2,000 glowing testimonials from grateful clients.

The third question is : How do I get there?

Answering this question helps you construct your ROADMAP or STRATEGY.

Once you have discovered your WHY and you have described your WHERE, your career roadmap helps you design your WHAT, decide your WHEN, and determine your HOW.

Your career roadmap will have three parts – tangible and quantifiable goals and milestones; realistic timelines; and the resources you need and the actions that you will take.

A roadmap is your GPS – it charts out the route to achieving your vision, it gives you the correct directions and the coordinates to follow.

It helps you figure out how to get there. It also gives you a way to determine how far you have come and how much more you have left to go.

A robust strategy helps keep you from spending time on tasks that won’t bring you closer to your goal.

It helps you identify and focus on your priorities.

It gives you all the tools to achieve what you want.

Having a roadmap ensures that you will have no regrets when you get to the end. Once you have a roadmap, you can be confident that you will not be looking back and asking yourself “what if.”

My wife’s roadmap

is straightforward. She lists specific goals she has to achieve every year. She learns all the time, online and offline. Also, she constantly stretches herself, trying new recipes and combinations, trying to find the perfect texture, the ultimate favour, the ideal filling. Her readers love her regular blog. She participates in fairs and exhibitions. Step by step, she has built her business from nothing to a point where the waiting list for her cakes exceeds 2 months and more. In travelling this journey, she feels and has always felt an awareness of purpose, a feeling of recognition, and a sense of fulfilment.

The answers to these three questions will change your life.

Who am I? Where do I want to go? How do I get there?

The next three articles will explore each question further, helping us learn what we need to do to answer these questions; how we can draft our own missions, visions and strategies; and how other successful people have done theirs.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this instalment of CEO Chronicles. Your feedback, commentary and suggestions are not just welcome, they are requested and will be deeply appreciated.

Cheers,

Shesh.

(Singapore / 28 May 2019)

In CEO Chronicles #2, we discussed five traps we should not fall into when dealing with bad bosses. In CEO Chronicles # 3, we reviewed the different kinds of bosses we can encounter, and the strategies that we can use when dealing with each kind.

More

Welcome to the third chapter of CEO Chronicles – the serial guide to navigating your liferaft in corporate rapids.

In the previous article, “Horrible Bosses!”, we discussed five “don’ts” – traps that we should avoid when dealing with bad bosses. In this one, we will discuss a few “dos” as well as different kinds of bosses and the strategies that we can use when dealing with each kind.

Before we start, let’s try and classify bad bosses. While I am sure there are many, many classifications, I prefer to segment them into four categories for the sake of simplicity, each of which is a possible permutation of the below statements –

• Bosses who don’t know the effects of their behavior
• Those who do
• Bosses who can change
• Those who cannot

Our strategies and actions can be split into two parts –

• One, things we should do regardless of the type of boss
• Two, things we should do depending on the kind of boss we are dealing with.

What can we do regardless of the type of boss :

First, understand your boss

Understanding a situation is the best way to manage it. Analyse your boss. What drives him? What scares him?  When does he lash out? What past experiences seared him? What makes him feel good? Why does he react the way he does? If you can, get hold of his psychometric assessment results – they can reveal a lot about his personality and the buttons that work.

Second, talk to your boss

As a rule, when we like someone, we take every opportunity to engage with them, and when we don’t, we find reasons to avoid them. In a professional situation, this is counter-productive. The less you engage, the more you add to the disconnect. Put aside your emotions and talk to him. Find non-office locales if you can, they help in more open and honest discussions.

“Soon, you will be the ‘go-to’ person”

Third, document as much as you can

More than 80% of conflict in the workplace (and in life) is due to misunderstanding. Verbal communication is great, but often the participants take away very different understandings. (Please see https://hbr.org/2006/12/the-curse-of-knowledge, the fantastic experiment about Tappers and Listeners) To ensure that we are on the same page with the boss, we need to minute meetings and discussions. It is also a great practice to share a weekly review of what was planned and what was achieved. And to give updates on projects proactively, rather than wait to be asked.

Fourth and last, complement your boss

This may sound contrary, but you will gain much from proactively working around your boss’ shortfalls. (If your boss is indecisive, lay out options and recommendations; if he is disorganized, manage his calendar; when he is unprepared for meetings, give him cheat sheets). You will quickly become indispensable, not only to your boss, but to the others who have to deal with him. Very soon, you will become the ‘go-to’ person.

“Teach. Manipulate. Guide. Run!”

What can or should we do if we are faced with

Bosses who don’t know the effects of their behaviour and can change (ROOKIES) :

Teach. Bosses are human. Often, they don’t know the impact of their behaviours on their team. Whether they ask or not, they need us to talk to them and gently point out how they can be so much more effective it they change certain aspects of what they do or say. You will be surprised at how much impact you can have, and how much gratitude you will earn!

Bosses who don’t know the effects of their behaviour and cannot change (IGNORAMUSES) :

Manipulate. Yes, I know this word has negative connotations. But, when we are faced with a person who is unlikely to change, we need to suggest and influence and manoeuvre him into a more amenable course of behaviour. This is like dealing with unruly hair – we will gel and rebond and trim and smooth till it behaves in a manner of our choosing. Successful manipulation can make you the “boss-whisperer”, which can be quite rewarding indeed!

Bosses who know the effects of their behaviour and can change (APPRENTICES) :

Guide. I have found that bosses who know what they are doing wrong are halfway to redemption. They want to breakout of the vicious spiral they are in, and just need someone to counsel them and be a sounding board. They will first need to build trust in you and be confident that you will never exploit their weaknesses. Once this happens, you will become their right hand person, and enjoy the benefits that accrue from this position.

Bosses who know the effects of their behaviour and cannot change (LOST CAUSES)

Run! I have never dealt with such a boss, but have heard horror stories. I wish I could give you better advice, but all I know is that if I were in such a situation, I would see no light at the end of the tunnel. What would I do? I would start tapping my networks, looking for options and find an exit route as soon as I can, either into another part of the company or in another company altogether.

Afterword

So, now you have both the Don’ts and the Dos. However, as we all know, principles and theories sound and look good. But do they actually work? To answer this, in the next article, we will delve into a real-life case of a young lady who learnt how to manage her (difficult) boss and turbocharge her career in the process.

Till then, I would love to hear from you. Does what you read so far resonate? Do you have insights that I may have missed? Do you find the suggestions practical and useful?

Your feedback, commentary and suggestions are not just welcome, they are requested and will be deeply appreciated.

Cheers,

Shesh.

(Singapore / 30 April 2019)

The serial guide to navigating your liferaft through corporate rapids…

A horrible boss is a cross we have had to bear, at one time or the other, during our career. We must take a bad boss seriously. He can derail our career and our health. We need to find practical ways to mitigate the damage. There are don’ts and dos that can help us survive, and even thrive, in a toxic situation.

All of us will have surely come across one or more of these cries for help –

“How do you deal with a boss like mine? He micro-manages me to the point where I feel I need to ask him before going to the washroom!”

“My supervisor is always derogatory, and never lets up a chance to put me down!”

“He shamelessly takes credit for anything any of us do, and has no compunction in throwing us to the wolves when it suits him!”

“My boss leers at me every time I walk into his room. I am scared to even close the door!”

“He always favours his suck-ups!”

“How the heck did he even get to where he is? He must be someone’s brother-in-law!”

“We can leave. Or, we can learn”

At every stage in our career, we need a supervisor who supports, protects, encourages and motivates. Having a ‘bad’ boss is akin to suffering from an endless toothache, which flares up at regular intervals, but never subsides. It can suck out joy from our life, make us feel undervalued, and push us to seek options under duress.

In a career spanning junior and middle management, we are likely to have between 3-7 bosses on average. Sadly, we are as likely to have at least a couple who can make our life miserable at work.

What can we do when we have a boss who doesn’t inspire and support us?

We can leave.

Or, we can learn.

I have worked with great bosses, good bosses and not-so-good bosses. When I look back on my career, I realise that some of my steepest learning arcs as a manager and a leader came about during my time with bosses I despised.

Why? Two reasons :

First, from my perspective, it was simple. I was not well-off or connected, had a family and did not have many options. Consequently, I could not leave. So, I set about learning how to ‘manage upward’.

Second, I knew that, in a career spanning 25-30 years, I would encounter similar situations more than a few times. It would be better, I believed, to learn how to handle these when I was junior and the stakes were smaller. I did not want to be in the C-suite facing an unpleasant Board member and not knowing what to do!

“Never give in to despair”

What should we NOT do?

First, do not paint with a broad brush

No boss is completely bad. Each of us is an amalgam of good, bad and ugly characteristics and qualities. It is important that we understand and identify the specific issues that the boss does or says which causes pain or discomfort, and focus on dealing with them.

Second, do not paint yourself as a victim

It is easy, when in an unpleasant situation, to believe that the world is stacked against you. That is not the case. Look around and count all the things that are worthwhile. You will be surprised. And strengthened.

Third, do not give in to disillusionment

Never let anyone else’s behaviour change you. Don’t feel that your losing interest or under-performing is a valid response to a bad boss. Remember, you are a lamp, not a mirror.

Fourth, do not show fear. Or anger.

Fear encourages bad behaviour. Bad bosses, like predators, can smell fear, and that only exacerbates their tendencies. Stand firm, keep cool. Blows outs are counterproductive. Remember, there is always a space between stimulus and response. Use the space wisely.

Lastly, do not assume, or accept hearsay

When a relationship is fraught, it is easy to assume the worst in every interaction. It is easy to believe a co-worker’s insidious gossip. Don’t succumb. Only accept and believe what you see and hear yourself. Make your own decisions, don’t be influenced or manipulated.

Avoiding these common behaviours will tilt the situation in our favour. We feel more in control. And calmer and less stressed. We find we can manoeuvre better.

Afterword

This will prepare us for the steps laid out in the next article, where we will discuss different kinds of bosses and the strategies that we can use when dealing with each kind.

Till then, I would love to hear from you. Did what you read so far resonate with you? Do you have insights that I may have overlooked?

Your feedback, commentary and suggestions are not just welcome, they are requested and will be deeply appreciated.

Cheers,

Shesh / Singapore / 16 April 2019.

The serial guide to navigating your liferaft through corporate rapids.

Welcome to “CEO Chronicles” – an anecdotal exploration of the corporate world, a collection of experiences (good and bad), a sharing of proven principles and perspectives, and finally, a forum for discussion where we can all share, confide and take comfort.

It has been a year since I retired after more than a decade as a CEO. In this year, which I envisaged I would spend teaching, I have learnt so much. I have met hundreds of professionals, young and old, stagnant and growing, happy and miserable. With each meeting, I learnt about their aspirations and frustrations, dreams and failed approaches, successes and flame-outs.

All professionals want to succeed, and to have our talents recognized. We want to keep growing and learning with our eye on the prize: that next promotion, a larger office, company car, the corporate credit card, entry into the C-Suite. At the same time, we also want to be happy, find fulfilment and contribute value.

For some of us, sadly, these aspirations don’t materialize and the dream becomes a nightmare. There are so many stumbling blocks that we professionals have to grapple with on this journey, slowing, demotivating, and alienating us. And leading us inevitably to become cynical, depressed and detached.

There is a Silver Lining!

In my experience, these stumbling blocks fall broadly into three categories – within ourselves, in our workplaces and relating to the macro-environment.

The first is within ourselves. These are issues such as – stagnation, perceived and real; lack of a personal vision; inability to sense signals until they are too late; lack of meaning or fulfilment; feelings of disconnectedness, and so on.

The second is in the workplace. Here, we face more extrinsic challenges – that bullying boss; the bad-mouthing colleague; customers with unreal expectations; a lack of recognition; the incessant pressure; being on the wrong side of nepotism, and more of such.

Finally, in the broader environment. This throws up challenges relating to changing or slipping market conditions; underperforming against the competition; being far from the corridors of power; being mired in the wrong function, sector or industry; elusive financial independence; being a female professional unable to break through male bastions; the lack of a support network, and other systemic issues.

The good news is that there is a silver lining! I have learnt that these are only-too-similar situations and challenges, regardless of industry, company, country and position. I have been mentoring and guiding for the last 20+ years. Between my own experiences and those that I have listened to, I have come to realise that while each individual’s problems seem to be unique to them, these are actually minor variations on recurrent themes. While the symptoms may vary by person, company and industry, the root causes are surprisingly repetitive.

There are Real Solutions!

Even better, most of these problems have real solutions. The reasons an individual professional may not have access to a solution for a specific problem are many. It could be that she is facing this situation for the first time, or that she has no one to confide in or who could guide her. It is also possible that she has recognised it too late, or that she finds it difficult to consult anyone without hurting her ego and self-confidence.

Take a classic case – an employee having to deal with an unreasonable boss. This situation is so common across the corporate world that it has become an aphorism: “Employees leave bosses, not companies!” However, most employees in this situation tend to struggle on their own. They seem unable or unwilling to seek tried and tested solution approaches that could quickly relieve their misery.

Hence, the series “CEO Chronicles”. At different points in time, my mentees have asked me to write a ‘ready reckoner’ on career progression and management. In the past, I demurred, conscious of my own fallibility. The last year, however, has shown me that such an initiative may guide at least a few of you to deal with situations you may find yourselves in and lead you to your desired goals.

I am hoping that, in time, I will be joined by other practitioners and mentors who will share their knowledge and expertise, making this forum increasingly robust and useful.

Afterword

I hope you have enjoyed reading this first instalment of CEO Chronicles. I look forward to your feedback and suggestions!

If you want to know more, please visit me at www.radicaladvice.net. Radical Advice offers business transformation services and career guidance.

Cheers,

Shesh.

(Singapore / 02 April 2019)