CEO Chronicles # 41 : Why You Must Fail!

“Don’t be afraid to fail. Be afraid not to try!”

Failure hurts. It demoralizes. It humbles.

Even so, failure is a critical and important part of life.

In fact, failure is necessary.

I have failed more times than I can count.

Yes. I have failed small. I have failed big. And I have failed spectacularly.

I have not enjoyed failing. If anything, I have hated it when it was happening. I cursed life, railed at God, asked the eternal question, “WHY ME?”

But, as I have progressed, I have realized that failure, through its life-altering lessons, gradually moulded me into a stronger, more capable, better person.

Failure is life’s best teacher. It teaches us humility, and change, and innovation, and resilience.

Without failure, I know I would have less compassion, empathy and kindness. Without failure, I know that I would have achieved much less than what I have today.

I Don’t Believe You!

“That’s a load of bull! I don’t think failure is necessary! Can you name any successful people who have failed?”

I can name hundreds. Here are some people who you know, like and respect –

Oprah Winfrey – abused child, teenage unwed mother, fired for being ‘unfit for television’.

Jack Ma – failed primary school twice, failed middle school three times, failed university entry exam thrice, rejected by the police force, rejected by KFC, rejected by Harvard ten times.

Walt Disney – fired from his job at a newspaper, first go at business ending in bankruptcy.

Thomas Edison – told by his teachers that “he was too stupid to learn anything”, fired from first two jobs, failed in developing the light bulb more than 2,000 times.

J K Rowling – jobless, divorced, penniless, with a dependent child, suffered through bouts of depression, living on welfare checks, Harry Potter script rejected 12 times.

Enough? Or shall I go on?

“Enough. I see what you mean. But why is failure ‘necessary’?”

Why Failure Is Necessary!

The simple answer is,

If you go through life without failing at anything, then you are not really living a life at all!

Taking risks and falling down makes us into who we are.

Take the example of a baby. When a baby is first learning to walk, she will fall down many times. If you feel bad that she is failing and over-protect her and prevent her from trying, she will never walk.

Take the example of a tennis player. He will play game after game. He will lose often, sometimes terribly. If you feel bad that he is failing and tell him not to play so much, he will never build up to be a champion.

And finally, take the example of yourself trying to cook a new dish. It is likely that you will fail the first time. And the second. Even perhaps the third. If you give up and stop, you will never make a dish that makes people go, “WOW!”

Failure is the development of mental and spiritual muscle. It strengthens us, it makes us more resilient. Failure gives us the drive and the reason to succeed.

Here are five reasons why failure is necessary for all of us –

Failure Gives Us Valuable Experience

The most important thing we gain from failure is experience.

What happens when we fail? When we go through something and can walk away with firsthand experience, it helps us to develop a deeper understanding for life.

The experience of failing alters our mindset. It makes us reflect on the real nature of things and their importance in our lives, transforming and improving our future selves.

[My wife, Radhika, wanted to be able to make tasty egg-free cakes for her many clients who could not eat regular cakes for dietary or religious reasons.

She experimented for many months. In the beginning, the cakes would not rise, or taste terrible. Each failure hurt her, but also taught her something new. She built the next cake on the learnings from the previous one. Finally, she mastered the art.

Today, her egg-free cakes are said to be, ”the best cakes we have ever tasted!”]

Failure Endows Us With Knowledge

Failure brings us important firsthand knowledge.

This knowledge forms the stepping stones for our future. By harnessing what we learn from failure, we can and will overcome that very same failure.

[When I was in school, I was terrible at my second language, Hindi. I would fail again and again – mainly because I did not put in enough effort.

As I came closer to my School Leaving Examination, I realized that if I failed, I would not be able to enter college. I began reviewing everything I had learnt from my failures. Soon, I recognised a pattern of mistakes. I went to a friend who was very good at Hindi, and asked him to show me how to correct this. He helped me understand the concepts that were necessary.

Using this knowledge, I was able to not only pass the exam, but get a first class!]

Failure Exposes Our Weaknesses

Everyone has weaknesses. Failure leads to introspection, which then leads to exposing our weaknesses. Once we know what our weaknesses are, we can turn them into strengths.

Thus, failure actually helps us evolve and become stronger, preparing ourselves for the challenges yet to come.

[When I was about 30, I attended quite a few job interviews and was rejected in all of them.

This really hurt, especially because I thought I was a good fit, and did not know why I was being rejected. I approached my mentor for help. She conducted 2 ‘mock interviews’ with me, and then shared her findings. I realized that I was making so many mistakes. I took these to heart and corrected them.

The very next interview I had, the company offered me the job immediately!]

Failure Pushes Us To Grow

When we fail, we grow and mature as human beings.

We seek deeper meaning and understanding about ourselves and about life. Failure makes us pause and reflect. Failure puts things into perspective.

Life is designed for us to grow and improve. Growth is a fundamental part of us. Failure prevents us from complacency and stagnation, and pushes us to seek new avenues, new approaches, new starts.

[My friend, Vijay, believed that he was an excellent technical manager. He stopped reading or learning, feeling that he ‘knew it all’.

One day, one of his ships had a serious engine problem. The Chief engineer contacted him and asked him for help. Vijay did everything he could, but was not able to solve the problem. The company lost thousands of dollars. Desperate, Vijay reached out to various colleagues and contemporaries. A young superintendent replied, giving him a possible approach. Vijay tried it our and it worked.

From that day onward, he stopped feeling complacent. He ensured that he subscribed to technical updates and attended technical forums, knowing that he did not, actually, ‘know it all’.]

Failure Builds Resilience

Failing helps us build resilience. The more we fail, the more resilient we become.

To succeed, we must know resilience. Without resilience, every stumble or fall will cause us to lose hope, to not try again, to give up. And by doing so, fail much harder and more painfully than ever.

Resilience helps us succeed by building the right expectations, thus setting the gameboard in our favour.

[There is no better example of resilience than US President Abraham Lincoln.

He failed in business at age 21; he was defeated in a legislative race at age 22. He failed again in business at age 24. Then, Lincoln overcame the death of his sweetheart at age 26 and had a nervous breakdown at age 27. He lost two congressional races at ages 34 and 36, and then the senatorial race at age 45.

He never gave up, never quit, learned from each failure, became stronger, and finally, became President of USA at the age of 52.]

Failure Is The Foundation Of Success

Failure forces you to tune in to what you truly want and to who you really are.

We need to embrace failure and see it as a stepping-stone on the way to success.

Sadly, society tends to celebrate successes rather than highlighting the epic journeys towards success that are filled with trials, setbacks, and failures.

Too often we buy into what society says. When we do that, we limit ourselves, and we impede our ability to make big things happen.

Failure is temporary. When something goes wrong, we need to learn to look for the greater message of the experience and expect it to, eventually, turn out for the good.

Failing means you are actually active, doing something, moving forward.

“It is impossible to live without failing, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.” – J.K. Rowling

***

Can you recall a failure which taught you lessons that shaped you? Please could you share for others to learn from?

Do send your inputs to me, either as a comment or as a PM.

Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 08 December 2020.

Post Script :

1. For other interesting CEO Chronicles click here.
2. Follow me so that you don’t miss the next issue of CEO Chronicles.

#BillionDollarLearnings #radicaladvice #ceochronicles #purpose #mentoring #careers #career #careeradvice #careerguidance #bestadvice #personaldevelopment