CEO Chronicles # 27 : What Happens In A Toxic Team? May 19th, 2020
A Tale Of Toxicities
“I want to quit! I can’t take this toxic crap any more!” said Karla, her face writ with frustration and anger.
I leaned forward. It was very unlike Karla to lose her cool like this.
“These are strong words,” I said. “You have been in this company for less than a year, haven’t you?”
“Yes, about 8 months,” she said, her brow knitted into a frown. “And it has been a horrible 8 months! I wish I had never joined this company!”
That caused me to pause. Karla was employed in a reputed Fortune 500 MNC. If I was not wrong, I had recently read about how they had scored very well in employee ratings.
“Would you like to discuss this?” I asked gently, “Or are the wounds too fresh?”
“Well, uncle, that is why I am here,” said Karla, “I was speaking to Dad, and he asked me to consult you. Though I don’t know how this will help. I just want to walk away from this mess!”
No, Karla is not my niece; she is the daughter of one of my close friends, and calls me uncle. And she is normally not as emotional as the above dialogue sounds. Something is really bothering her.
“So what happened?” I asked.
“My team is truly toxic, that’s what!” she burst out. “And I don’t even feel like going to office anymore.”
“What do you mean by ‘toxic’”? I asked, even though I knew well what she meant, having experienced my share of toxicity through my career. “Would you be able to share any specific issues or examples?”
“Of course I can,” said Karla, “let me share recent three instances with you…”
Toxic Trope # 1 : Backs are for stabbing
“About three months ago,” Karla started, “I was supposed to complete a ‘preferred client analysis’ – analysing a list of our most important regional customers, developing patterns of their purchases, establishing trends, and evaluating the relationship strengths.”
“Okay,” I nodded.
“I had just joined the company a few months before. I did not know all the customers well. Yes, I did get a lot of the quantitative information from our database, but as you know uncle, quantitative data only shows part of the picture. I needed to understand them qualitatively, too.”
“Absolutely. No question.” I agreed.
“So, I approached one of my senior team members, Rakesh,” she continued, “and asked him whether he could help me with a more nuanced understanding of a few of the customers on the list. Rakesh seemed a nice guy, and I thought he is the best person to go to, as he had been with the team for more than 4 years.”
“Rakesh asked me to send him an e-mail and said he would surely help,” Karla said, “and I did. With some follow up, he responded and gave me some insights. He did this all on e-mail even though we could have done this in an hour’s meeting. Even though I wondered why, I did not give it much thought – I was just glad that I was getting the information I needed.”
“I assume there is a twist in the tale coming up?” I queried gently.
“Oh yes!” Karla laughed, more cynically than a 28 year old should ever laugh. “I submitted the completed project to our boss, Soon Kim, and hoped that I had lived up to expectations. Two days later, we had a team meeting. One of the items on the agenda was to discuss the client analysis. When the time came, instead of turning to me, he asked Rakesh to give everyone an overview of the analysis.”
I knew where this was going, so I kept silent and nodded.
It hurts like hell…
“I was taken aback,” Karla said, her eyes looking into the past, “and Rakesh presented the project as if he had done the whole thing himself. At the end of it, Soon Kim thanked and congratulated him, and the meeting continued.”
“That afternoon, I went to Soon Kim’s cabin, and asked him why Rakesh presented the analysis, when it was my project. He seemed puzzled. But, he said, Rakesh told me that you had approached him and asked him to lead the project. He also showed me some e-mails between you two.”
“I did not know whether to cry or scream,” said Karla, gritting her teeth at the memory. “I explained the situation to Soon Kim, about the need for a few insights, which added up to less than 20% of the project. He seemed to listen, but I don’t believe his heart was in it. He seemed very eager to get on with some other work. I left his cabin completely demoralised.”
“What did you do next?” I asked.
“Well, that evening, I hitched a ride with Sonja,” she said, “and I told her what happened. Sonja was not surprised at all. This happens all the time in our team, she said. Most of the team members are out to prove themselves and grab credit. Rakesh is known for hijacking projects and achievements, and has done this to many other team members. Next time, Sonja said, be careful, we are part of a very toxic team. She seemed very accepting of the whole situation, whereas for me, it was a complete shock.”
“You must have felt betrayed and let down,” I said, sympathetically.
“Oh, uncle, you have no idea!” Karla said feelingly, “I felt worse than Julius Caesar after Brutus stabbed him!”
“Yes, I understand, Karla,” I said. I, too, had felt the pain of a knife in my back a few times.
Toxic Trope # 2 : Fingers are for pointing
“The second instance happened about 6 weeks ago,” said Karla, “and thank God, it did not happen to me!”
“One of our team mates, Norman, is new to this business. He has about 12 years work experience, but in other fields. So he finds some of the stuff we are doing a little new and strange.”
“Yes,” I said, “Been there, done that.”
“He’s been with us for a little longer than I have,” she said, “maybe about a year?”
“So, one Monday morning, Norman is trying to export a client address list into a new data base that we are collating. This was actually Wilma’s project, and Norman was helping her. So far, I understand that he was doing a good job, though I was not directly involved.”
“That afternoon,” she continued, “there was a big hullabaloo! Lots of running and shouting and huddles! I was stuck in a dealer event so did not witness this, but was getting minute-by-minute update messages from Sonja and Janak!
“What happened?” I asked, my curiosity aroused.
It scars for life…
“It seems that Norman had, by mistake, shared the client data with a wider group,” said Karla, smiling, but with a tinge of sadness. “He realised it as soon as he did it, and immediately notified Wilma and Soon Kim. According to Sonja, both of them hit the roof, and there was a huge fuss, which steadily escalated till it reached the VP.”
“Wow,” I said, unsurprised, “the VP?”
“Yes, it seems that Wilma publicly blamed Norman, who, poor guy, could nothing but accept it; then Soon Kim dressed him down in front of everyone. After that, someone brought in the VP, and it seems he had his share to say to Norman, while Wilma and Soon Kim stood watching.”
“Poor Norman,” I said.
“Absolutely. He is a nice guy, works hard, doesn’t normally screw up,” said Karla, “but the way these guys went at him, it sounded like he has given away all our company secrets to the KGB and the CIA. Even till today, some of our team members refer to Norman’s mistake as “Wikileaks”, and just two days ago, Soon Kim referred to the incident and not in a very nice way.”
“It seems like your team prefers to fix the blame, rather than the problem.” I observed, recognising another mark of a truly toxic team.
“You’re spot on, uncle,” said Karla. “Not one of the team stood by Norman or supported him. He went though a terrible time, with everyone sniggering and pointing fingers…”
Toxic Trope # 3 : Hearts are for breaking
“But yesterday was the last straw,” said Karla, sitting straight, the memory of the incident still raw in her throat, “and I cannot take this anymore.”
“What happened, my dear?” I asked, gently.
“We had a Teams online meeting yesterday morning,” she said, holding back the moisture in her eyes from trickling, “all 14 members of our team were on it. Some of us were in the office, and others were working remotely. The meeting went on for almost two hours and some parts of it were quite boring and repetitive.”
“Yes, I have attended such meetings,” I remarked, dryly.
“After the meeting, I started putting together the minutes and the action plan. And, while doing so, I went into the Chats section, to see if there were any points there that I needed to take note of…” Karla stumbled.
I waited for a few moments, for her to recover herself.
It decimates all trust…
Karla cleared her throat. “I am sorry, uncle,” she said, glancing at me.
“It’s okay. Do you need a glass of water? Your throat must be parched,” I said.
“No, no, it’s okay. So, in the Chats section, I saw a conversation between three of my team members. I think they were writing to one another believing it to be a private Chat, but for some reason, they were using the meeting Chat.”
“They had said such horrible, toxic things about me,” her voice broke, ever so slightly. “About how I dress, and how I am the boss’ favourite because I am pretty, and how I did not deserve the role I was in and had got it only because of some ‘connections’. About how I was always asking questions and was always delaying projects…”
Her eyes spilled over. She turned away, scrabbling for a tissue in her purse.
I got up and went to the sideboard, where I poured a glass of water for her and one for myself.
After about 3 minutes, I came back and offered the water to Karla. She took it and smiled her thanks. Both of us sipped on our water, and let the moment pass.
Teaming with questions
“Thank you for sharing this with me,” I said, “It is not easy, reliving such moments. It is really sad when one encounters a dysfunctional, toxic team.”
“I don’t know whom to talk to, uncle,” said Karla, “I can’t trust anyone in my team or in the office. I spoke to Dad, but he’s a GP and has always run his own private practice, so does not know how to advise me…”
“And he’s a sweetheart who wouldn’t recognise toxic stuff if it punched him in the face,” I said, smiling.
“That’s true,” Karla giggled, “He’s a big teddy bear!”
“So, uncle, I have a question,” asked Karla, serious once again,”Why are some teams so toxic? How can toxicity be removed from a team? And, what should I do in this situation?
“Well,” I said, “these are three questions. Which have very different answers. And, it is rather late now. May I respond to these in the next article?”
****
Like Karla, many of you may have similar and more questions, particular to your situation.
Please send them to me, either as a comment or as a PM. Let us, together, work to find solutions to this unfortunately widespread problem.
Cheers | Shesh | Singapore | 19 May 2020.
Post Script :
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